I used to hear women say, “I wish I could find a man that cooked!”. Being a Gen-Xer (remember those?) I never fully mastered full on cooking but I’m pretty handy at baking. Over time, I’ve found that if you really want to impress some ladies, get your baking mitts on. I’m sure there’s a whole psychology to it all, but ultimately who doesn’t like tasty boozy desserts?
With that said, I felt it was time to divulge my most requested tip-top secret calorie-free* Double Rum Cake. A few things first. This is a no-nut recipe. Even though I’m a fan of the nuts, nobody in my household is.
Double (Danger) Rum Cake
Prep time: Approx 30 minutes
Bake Time: 1 hr
Glaze time: Approx 30 minutes
Pre-Cake Mix
1 .5 oz rum (prefer Doorly’s)
1 large cube of ice
1 Rocks glass
Cake Parts Mix
(1) Bundt Pan. The flutey kind.
(1) Package Yellow Cake Mix (16.5oz). Whichever package looks best. I prefer the one that doesn’t have pudding mix in it already, this is a massively-bad-for-you cake.*
(1) Package Instant Vanilla Pudding Mix (3.4oz).
(4) eggs
1/2 cup filtered water
1/2 cup vegetable oil
1/2 cup light rum or dark rum for the cake batter – this is where it will be up to your particular preference. I like dark rums myself, but if you’re new to the whole rum game, start with a rum that you like and experiment using other rums (please splurge, just a little). There’s more rum in the glaze, so on your first effort, match the rum in the cake and the glaze and as you get more comfortable, mix and match. When you get next level, start trying different sugars and different rums. It’s fun, I promise!
1/4+ cup Sugar in the Raw for dusting the Bundt Pan
Glaze Parts Mix
1/2 cup unsalted butter = 1 stick
1/4 cup filtered water
1 cup white sugar
1/2 cup light or dark rum
Also Required
Fried Turkey Marinade Injector
Silicone Brush
Non-Stick-Cooking-Spray
An Oven
A Pair of Hands (or only one, triple prep time)
A towel
Hand Mixer (unless you’re a sadist, and prefer a spoon)
A thin spatula
Optional
A bag of ice
The Down and Dirty
- Imbibe the pre-cake mix.
- Preheat the oven to a crisp 325 degrees F (which if my math doesn’t fail me is 165 degrees Celsius). If you’ve got a convection oven, fire that puppy up.
3. In a large bowl, surgically open the cake mix and pudding mix. Sift them through a sifter together to mix well, alternately, mix them up with a fork – co-mingle their assets. Sifting takes longer, but impresses anyone who happens to be watching, and the consistency ends up being like cake flour.
4. In a small bowl, mix the 4 eggs (like you were making scrambled eggs). Add the 1/2 cup water, 1/2 cup oil and 1/2 cup rum to the egg mixture and whisk well.
5. Add the egg/oil/mixture to the dry mixed powder and then use that Hand Mixer (quaint) or wooden spoon (torturous) until it’s smooth. Use a spatula to make sure all the flour comes off the sides and gets mixed, push it back down in the the main mix.
6. Liberally spray the bundt pan with the non-stick-cooking-spray, especially around the center shaft (hee-hee). Wipe down the spray in the pan to make sure it’s covering all the open area with a paper towel. Start sprinkling Sugar in the Raw into the pan. It will stick to the spray.
Science!
Turn the pan upside down to get rid of excess sugar that didn’t stick to anything, inspect the pan and make sure there’s no open/uncovered area – it should be PURE SUGAR!
Now, pour the batter into the magical bundt pan.
7. Bake for 60 minutes at 325 F (or 300 if you are convectioning), or until a toothpick inserted into the cake comes out clean. While you’re waiting, read ahead.
8. About 20 minutes before the cake is ready, make the glaze. In a saucepan, combine 1 stick (1/2 cup) butter, 1/4 cup water and 1 cup sugar. Bring to a boil over medium heat and continue to boil for 5 minutes, stirring constantly. Remove from heat and stir in 1/2 cup rum. Put this into a larger container that you can load this glorious mixture into your Fried Turkey Marinade Injector. You won’t fit it all in the injector , that’s where the silicone brush comes in and you can reload as needed.
9. About 2 minutes before removing the cake from the oven, put the towel in the sink (seriously!).
Here’s the “Choose your own Adventure” part of the recipe.
A: Hot Method
B: Cold Method (I personally have found this works best. It’s science-y I think)
A. Hot method. Wet the towel with hot water. After removing the cake from the oven, put it on the towel. You’re going to leave it for 10 minutes, but while it’s innocently sitting there, you’re going to start basting and injecting it with the special rum glaze.
B. Cold method. Wet the towel with cold water. Dump the ice onto the towel. After removing the cake from the oven, put it on the towel. You’re going to leave it for 10 minutes, but while it’s innocently sitting there, you’re going to start basting and injecting it with the special rum glaze.
Use the silicone brush first, to slather rum sauce over the bottom of the cake, then take your time and lovingly inject the sauce. I typically use about half the sauce covering the bottom of the cake and injecting, then the other half once the cake is out of the pan.
(My white hand threw off the color balance, so the cake looks sickly now. It’s still the same cake)
10. Before turning your bundt cake onto the plate, use the super thin spatula to gently push down between the cake and the pan. This can be done in the sink or right before you turn the cake over.
10. After the 10 is up, turn your cake out onto a plate. Use the spatula again to ensure that your cake doesn’t stick to the sides or shaft of the bundt pan. Once it’s on the plate, keep using the silicone brush to brush some glaze on the top and ouside of the cake. Continue to inject the cake with the deadly rum venom until all the glaze is used up. Glaze to taste really. If you see pools of glaze on the plate, you’re going too fast. You can’t consume the rum that isn’t in the cake – take your time.
11. After you have used all the glaze, stop, admire your work, and let the cake rest. Seriously. You’ve been stabbing it and brushing it for about 30 minutes now.
11. Eat it.
That’s it!
I’ve heard that keeping the cake covered in the refrigerator overnight improves the rum flavor, but I’ve yet to have any make it that long.
* Not Really