I admit it.
I’m in love. Please don’t tell the espresso machine, but I’ve found someone else. I’d rather the XP4030 hears it from me directly.
It will go something like this (I think):
“XP, we need to talk…. We can talk honestly about our relationship right? I know you weren’t interested in seeing other people, but……..well……I’ve found someone else. Don’t cry, don’t cry – you’ll find someone too. Who? Well……you notice that I’ve been spending a lot of time on the carpets…..yes, I know you did.
Well, XP, it’s like this…..I’m in love with my Dyson vacuum cleaner. No, it’s not that you’re not portable, and you don’t have a swivel ball that I can move you around furniture easiliy. Also you don’t have the ability I need when it comes to picking up cat hair. I mean, can you even pick up cat hair? I didn’t think so. Oh, I know that’s not what you’re built for, but we can always learn new things, and try to improve ourselves. I guess, it’s just ….I think we’re getting complacent. I think we’re taking each other for granted, you rely on me to fill you with water and ground coffee, and I rely on you to pump water through the grounds and steam milk…..when was the last time we said, “Thank you – I needed that” to each other? No, I can’t remember either. You know, I’m not getting rid of you – we can still be friends”
And then I run and give my Dyson a hug.
