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  • “If you worried about falling off the bike, you’d never get on.” Lance Armstrong

    Posted on by The Thousand Yard Stare Comment

    My daughter had a recent need for a bicycle.  After we got it road-ready, I found myself warning her, “If someone wants to steal your bike, give it to them. Don’t get hurt over something as dumb as a bicycle.” After she reminded me what kind of lily-white crime free neighborhood she lives in now, I had to think for a minute. Then, I looked around and I was definitely talking about my neighborhood.

    It took me back to some of my bestest bike riding experiences. One of my first was defying my parents and biking down to Westwood Mall – in the middle of the dried out Braes Bayou. Another was my 70’s banana seat Raleigh – – that managed to be stolen three separate times. Each time, I found it further and further away. Once, leaning against a house at the end of the block. The other time I found it at Westbury Square, where I worked for a while at The Company Onstage. The last time I’m not sure where it went. Odd walking in such a remote area from my home and seeing such a distinctive bike. “Hey! That’s my bike!” I googled it, but it was such a weird bike that I’ll probably never find it.

    Then there was my black Huffy. My ultimate pre-car bicycle was my Mongoose. Ahh…..my Mongoose.

    The Mongoose was subject to many a schoolyard debate on the merits of…..uh….whatever we could throw at it. “Mongoose vs Diamondback” My first Mongoose was stolen by a kid who lived next to our elementary school. My second looked just like this:

    What a great looking bike. Lightweight and chromed out, it was a gorgeous bike. I ended up taking the bike with me to New Zealand where it was (unbeknownst to me) the Rolls Royce of bikes. I rode it to school two times. After the stares and envious looks, my theft paranoia got the best of me and I walked the 1.988 miles instead.

    I just looked at that map – in no way is that 1.988 miles flat – there’s a 40 degree slope on both sides of Cumberland. We called that “Cumberland Hill”. It is in fact the largest hill I’ve ever had to traverse in any school bound travels. So when I tell my daughter “it was uphill both ways!”, in a way it really was.

    So that second Mongoose actually was nearly stolen once, then was completely stolen the second time – although I got it back. The first time is when my friend Jeremy and I were riding to Sharpstown Mall (that’s a LONG ride from my house). We were walking our bikes through the mud and this kid comes up, grabs my bike and pushes me down. I was so astonished, I wasn’t sure what was happening. So I grabbed the back tire (not smart, but it wasn’t moving). I yanked and he pulled out a screwdriver. “Let go!” “No!” “Let go!”. He then kind of stabbed the tire with the screwdriver but it just bounced off.

    By that point I had figured out what he was trying to do and I was freaking out. Somehow this lady way across the street started yelling at this kid, “Hey! I see you! Where’s your momma!” I was so startled I yelled, “At home!” The big kid kind of muttered then let go of my bike.

    The second time was actually pretty anticlimactic. In my junior year of high school, I get this knock on the door. At the door is a police officer and two kids. The police officer asks me if anything has been stolen out of the garage. I tell him I have no idea. He gives me the look like, “Say yes you idiot.” He then tells me that these kids admitted that they stole my Mongoose. Of course I didn’t notice, I’d been driving a car since then. The only thing left on it that was original was the frame. The cool lightweight rims were long gone.Later, one of my friends that worked with me at Meyerland General Cinema asked if he could have it so I gave it to him.

    He said that the guy at the bike shop was amazed, “This is one of the first Chrome framed Mongooses!!”

    I miss that bike.


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  • “One little natural disaster, a refinery fire, any type of instability in various parts of the world could push us over that edge.” Mantill Williams

    Posted on by The Thousand Yard Stare Comment

    I have been taking a CERT training class for the past few weeks. This class is helpful in my ongoing “man maintenance” where I become (theoretically) more capable of self support in times of crisis. I got to put out a fire two weeks ago – with a fire extinguisher.  How many times before that had I actually used a fire extinguisher in my life? ZERO.

    When I was a kid, my father thoughtfully installed a small fire extinguisher into my my closet in my bedroom.  I never used it – and rarely thought about it.  My paranoia did not extend so much to fires.  It was fully occupied with fear of monsters under my bed, ghosts/dead things/aliens in my closet, and how I would actually escape a fire from the second floor of my home.  Yes, fire was involved, but my fear wasn’t of the fire – it was of breaking my legs jumping out the window. I recall at some point asking for a fold down ladder, but I was talked out of it. “Just hang on to the ledge and fall, you don’t need to jump”

    Early on, my closet was a refuge from light when anxiously clutching a glow-in-the-dark dinosaur skeleton obtained from a box of Fruity Pebbles.  Later, however, the small door that led from the closet to the attic taunted me with the fear that I might be dragged in there by something unimaginable. Having watched Creepshow, Poltergeist, and Close Encounters of the Third kind – I know it was possible.

    The last time I checked the fire extinguisher, it was dead (never used). Just writing this brings back a memory of an “educational” film that they made us watch in elementary school (Parker if I recall). They were illustrating fire’s effect on blood. They heated up a hotplate and when it got nice and toasty dripped some blood on it. It spattered and boiled nicely (as expected). Shock therapy for budding pyromaniacs. It scared me, but never stopped me from burning matches endlessly.

    I bought two fire extinguishers today. Home safety – yeah!


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  • “He’d kick the pitcher’s (butt). He’d do it. No (fooling) around, bro.” ~ Edgar Renteria

    Posted on by The Thousand Yard Stare Comment

    I’m a farmer. A cubicle farmer.

    Upon hiring, there was no room in the IT department for my actual, physical desk, so they put me on the far side of the building in the middle of another department. Actually, as it turns out, this was not a bad thing. It’s pretty quiet up here. Over in the IT side, it’s fairly noisy with all kinds of computer related conversation. In a way it’s kind of like Las Vegas, where the "bing bing" of slot machines all kind of blend together and create a droning backdrop.

    The downside, however, is that when someone has a conversation near my cube, I can hear all of it.
    Normally, I don’t have a problem with it. However there recently has been an employee that has joined that has what I perceive to be the most irritating voice in the world. Actually, their voice has only become irritating because of the attitude. I’ve never actually seen what they looks like, but I get the impression that they’re a "Millennial". When not around the job, I could totally imagine the words, "Bro" coming out of their mouth. Sample conversations overheard:

    * Trying to sell extra playoff tickets when too many were purchase (for too much) at the last minute over Craigslist

    * Checking tee time

    * Getting into a near argument over an employment misunderstanding then leveling the "I’ve got a dozen offers that I could take, but I decided not to….yet"

    * Low key flirting with the person in the cube next to me

    This carelessness in handling personal business over the phone on company time is what I find somewhat irritating, but I could handle it if the topics weren’t so outrageously unnecessary. Okay, yes, I’ve called my bank from my office phone – to check on my mortgage refinance. Was it a personal call? Sure. Speaking with a bank is a little different from checking your tee time, in my opinion. The other thing that I consider in my mental checklist is how important in the "food chain" this person is. Since this person seems to be involved with web social media integration to a project, my internal comparison-o-meter has this person pegged way, way lower in value than their attitude and actions project.

    That being said, sometimes I forget how irritating my voice is. Nasally, monotone, and droning. So, this person probably despises me for that.

    I can live with it.


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  • “The Opera is obviously the first draft of a fine spectacle; it suggests the idea of one.” Jean de la Bruyere

    Posted on by The Thousand Yard Stare Comment

    The other day, I bought a straight razor. I have now found that it’s a low quality piece of junk, and shouldn’t be put anywhere near your face. But regardless, people see me with a blade and assume that I’m going to cut myself. I’m actually not that clumsy.

    The number of times that I’ve hurt myself (slicing, bludgeoning, etc,etc) actually were more of a result of not actually thinking about what I was actually doing than being unsafe. Of course, that’s a little contradictory.

    Here’s the thing. At some point in our lives, we all go in to “autopilot” mode. The multiple times that I’ve sliced my hand/finger open, I wasn’t being unsafe so much as I was on Auto-pilot. After you’ve opened hundreds of boxes (over a lifetime) and you haven’t cut yourself once….you figure you’ve got it under control. You just do it – and don’t think about it.

    Well, as of now, I can’t do that any more. I HAVE to think about what I’m slicing up because typically it ends up being something attached to my body.
    The same thing with my jacked-up ankle. I’ve been walking the planet for some thirty-mumble-mumble years and hadn’t sprained my ankle before……so why did I really need to concentrate on walking? Well, it turns out that I do.

    I especially do.

    Complaining about getting old gets…..well, old, but seriously – those aches and pains that appear and you have to figure out what’s causing them? Time killer for sure. Who would have thunk that my clutch pedal would cause my big toe to get so sore?


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  • “Distance is a great promoter of admiration!” Denis Diderot

    Posted on by The Thousand Yard Stare 2 Comments

    I ran into kind of an interesting quandry today. Nothing earth shaking, really.

    Today I saw that one of my friends had become friends on Facebook with Jim Heath aka The Reverend Horton Heat. My knee-jerk Facebook reaction was, “Geez, I need to add him.”  As a fervent Google+ user now, my first inclination was to study why it was that I felt I needed to add him on Facebook.

    Sure, there’s a small element of being in touch with one’s heros, etc, etc. I’ve talked to him quite a few times (being in Dallas tends to give one a lot of exposure to the Rev) But really, with his 1000+ friends, did I really think that he was going to see one of my posts one day and think, “He really is my friend”? So I thought about it a little bit more. He made all his pictures public (thankfully) so I was able to see a bunch of really early photos of his without having to friend him. Nice.

    My facebook feed is flooded with all the burlesque people adding more and more people. So, watching the Rev add tons of people daily didn’t have much appeal.

    So, my next thought was, “If he was on Google+, would I add him?” At this point I’m not sure. What information would I share that I think he would want to see? What information would he share with me in one of his circles.

    Again, I faced this dilemma (minor as it is) when I got home. I checked my G+ and another famous dude is on there. When I look at his page, I think to myself “I wouldn’t call him a friend, and I’m sure he feels the same.”  But this same dude has turned me on to some great stuff. I’m just a fan.

    So the dilemma is that I already want to use Google+ to weed out all the crap that I really don’t want to see, but to what extent do I want to shield myself from it this early on.


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  • “When she speaks it is as if very thick olive oil is pouring vigorously over gravel chippings.” Colin McDowell

    Posted on by The Thousand Yard Stare 2 Comments

    One of my friends is a great cook. We’ve been fans of Bitchin’ Kitchen for a while and I seriously felt that one of the recipes that she pulls off needed to be mentioned here. It’s got all the great Bitchin’ Kitchen ingredients – olive oil, bread, tomatoes, garlic, and attitude.

    Pan Fried Bruschetta

    * 1 loaf artisan bread (or any type of fancy bread with a thick crust). The bread needs to have a crusty exterior and somewhat soft interior – french bread crust isn’t sturdy enough.  If it’s described as “rustic” it will probably work. Stay away from fancy flavored breads (lavender, dill, etc) – they interfere with the taste of the garlic/basil perfection.

    * 16-18 oz. heirloom tomatoes – red is ok, but multicolored rainbow colors makes it “pop”

    * extra virgin olive oil

    * 1 clove garlic, peeled and halved

    * sea salt

    * 8 oz fresh basil – chopped

    1. Chop tomatoes into halves and quarters (halves for the smaller tomatoes and quarters for the larger ones)

    2. Toss tomatoes with a tablespoon of olive oil, a teaspoon of sea salt, and the basil in a large bowl. (Or to your taste, she doesn’t stick to these amounts) Cover with wrap and place in refrigerator or just set aside covered while you fry the bread (yes, fried bread).

    3. Slice bread into thick slices (to your own personal preference ). The tomatoes and juices will make the bread soggy if it’s too thin, plus the bread needs to hold up in the oil – so err on the thick side when slicing.

    4. Lightly fry bread in shallow pan using two to three teaspoons of olive oil, browning on each side, and adding oil as necessary.  The bread should be brown/golden brown on each side. Note: If you don’t have an overhead vent, plan on opening a window or two.

    5. Once bread is fried on both sides, remove from pan, and rub raw garlic clove on one side of the bread. Just rub the clove right into the bread with your hand. Super easy and no mincing necessary.  The warmth of the bread will soften the garlic and the rough texture will peel the garlic into the bread pores.

    6. Take bowl from refrigerator and spoon tomatoes (with oil and accumulated juices) over bread.

    That’s it!  It’s a pretty messy (but unbelievably incredibly tasting) dish, so be prepared with plenty of paper towels.

    This post brought to you by TokenBlackGirls.com


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  • “You wouldn’t want to put a modern building next to it when the whole downtown looks that way. It just wouldn’t fit in.” Darren Harper

    Posted on by The Thousand Yard Stare 1 Comment

    There was a conversation yesterday regarding employment interviews.  I didn’t have much input, but I did think about it. My thoughts wouldn’t have been really accepted, so there really wasn’t much point in bringing them up.

    Today I’ll put those thoughts to digital paper.

    Most interviews really don’t have much to do with the skills that you’ve put down on paper.  For the most part, they’re going to assume you’re not lying about your qualifications. Background checks and past employment history usually bear out your experience level. And in fact, you probably got the interview because you’re one of many who are at least as qualified as you. So, why did they want to interview you? To see if you have the right mindset, the right set of communication skills, the right attitude to fit in to their organization.  Of course they’re going to ask you about your past experience. To me that’s just a topic of conversation that will open you up, to see how you interact with people.

    I think most of the interviews where the person was trying to overimpress me with their accomplishments didn’t get hired.  Also the ones that were so aggressive that as a manager I was worried about constant jockeying for a higher wage/position. While ambition is good, it’s not a good plan to tell your interviewer that you’ll be running the company one day. Especially if we were hiring a technician. We were looking for a technician, not someone who was going to be riding our ass so that we could see how much “better” they would be in a promoted position.

    I’m not going to ever say that I have interviews nailed – but I’ve got a good idea how to approach them in the future. The last interview I had resulted in my current job.

    Sometimes that’s why you’ll see people who may be less qualified get hired – because they approached the interview as more of a social interaction test rather than an opportunity to list your accomplishments.

    Yes, it’s pretty cliche to have a leopard print jacket – but I dig it (I also include this photo with every resume I send out).



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  • “Both tears and sweat are salty, but they render a different result. Tears will get you sympathy; sweat will get you change.” Jesse Jackson

    Posted on by The Thousand Yard Stare Comment

    In passing, there was some blog post about Rob Zombie directing a Woolite commercial? I’m not going to hate on it – seriously.
    He’s obviously got directorial talent, and I’m sure that shooting a short form commercial is much more appealing than fighting with a movie studio for months/years to get a full length movie released.

    In fact, in no way should my blog ever be considered hateratin’ against Zombie.  The prior post wasn’t a “call to arms” for White Zombie fans – it was merely observations that I had at the time. Nothing like ancient history to keep you on your toes.

    Regardless, having someone who came from the fringes directing such a mainstream product is pretty cool. Introducing such a twisted influence on mainstream society gets an A+ in my book.  A younger me would have called him a sellout, but the older me knows better. Doing what makes you happy is a better path in the long run.

    Speaking of the long run, Vince Ray released a new album called “The Sound Effect of Sex and Horror”. Like his others, it’s killer. As he’s based overseas so I always have to order his discs as an import, but it’s always worth it.
    iTunes is a great service, but getting a Vince Ray album is a hands on experience. Each album has great art that always matches the songs. The latest album is another rock n’ roll bash and I’m especially impressed with the production – everything is exceptionally clean and well mixed. There’s really REALLY creepy gap between the last song and the….uh…other last song, but the secret song really rocks.His music has the kind of swagger and vibe that’s hard to top. But, I am completely biased. I’ve got Vince’s artwork all over my house and my biggest tattoo is based on one of his pieces.


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