• Bee Log: Stardate Day 23

    Posted on by The Thousand Yard Stare Comment

    Ow. Okay, so it wasn’t the best plan.  I may have exaggerated when mentioning the term “appropriately cautious”.

    stingers

     

    It’s with some authority that I can now state the following:

    1) Bee stings hurt less than getting a tattoo. Of course, getting a tattoo implies that you’re expecting it to hurt on one part of your body, whereas bee sting locations will be entirely artist driven (aka the bees)

    2) Wearing the appropriate footwear will now be required when attempting to correct some hive behavior. While I knew that wearing vans slip ons wasn’t a great idea, it didn’t turn into a really bad idea until I dislodged some propolis that was holding one of the combs to the bottom of the hive – which REALLY seems to make bees angry. My initial plan was to put some sugar water out and then went into, “Well, while I’m here…” To wit, a suit of armor and a pair of flip flops does not good protection make.

    3) Proving the hard way that you are not allergic to bee stings is not recommended. As I clutched my ankle, crushing the bees that had stung me, I wondered if my profuse sweating, impending dizziness and increased heart rate were a sign that this was not only a bad idea, but a TREMENDOUSLY bad idea. As it turns out, bee venom makes you feel “funny”. Too much funny might kill you.

    4) Saturday afternoon bee stings are worthy of a beer. Cheers!


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  • How to drive traffic to your website via a numbered list AKA Go Viral! AKA the 6 steps to a fulfilling life

    Posted on by The Thousand Yard Stare Comment

    Is it really viral? Or is it the newest version of a chain letter?

     

    1. Come up with a concept that can be numbered ( 86 fluffiest kittens, 24 situations that make you reconsider public hangings, 3 most shameful secrets,etc, etc). Particularly resourceful writers/bloggers will note that the more narrow the topic, the more it leaves opportunity to create other numbered lists. Also, narrow lists create an opportunity for subject matter experts to scoff at any (or all) of your topics.

    2. Brainstorm with as many items as you can muster that are worthy (or not) of including to the list. Odd numbers are encouraged! Don’t feel limited to top 10 or top 100, this is ‘Merica, man, you can do what you want to do!

    3. Add them all to the list, include hot links to other articles and pictures that are relevant (or barely relevant, or not at all relevant). Including pictures that were taken by someone else without giving credit is highly encouraged!*

    DSC01148-001

     

    4. Make at least two to five of the items completely bogus, to drive commentary. “Surely you’re not including THAT kitten are you? He’s not CUTE!”

    5. Leave comments section open and prominently include links to share on social media.

    6. Post on your blog or news aggregator, and bask in all the page hits.

    Congratulations! You’ve gone viral with next to ZERO effort!

    * Sarcasm


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  • Anti-tour Diary – Day 1

    Posted on by The Thousand Yard Stare Comment

    Whooo!! My girlfriend just left on  TOUR! I’m going to CAUSE SOME TROUBLE WHILE SHE’S GONE!!

    hcb_leop

    Dropped her off at the airport, heading to the house, making some plans for tonight….

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    Yesiree, flying solo. Mmmm-hmmmm!
    Warmed up some shrimp jambalaya, well, I’ll just just check facebook for a minute…..grab a beer….. uh..hey, it’s been almost an hour now.

    revolver

    No time for that, time to PAR-TAY!

    Whoops, cats are hungry. Out of cat food. Driving in the rain, whistling at the opportunities that are heading my way. Whoa! Old lady running the checkout is flirting with me! I know I’ve GOT IT. Whooo!!

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    Make it home and feed the cats – well uh-oh. Dishwasher needs to be emptied, suppose I can handle that before the big night out. Ahh, shoot, better hand wash all these delicate items and bamboo cutting boards. You know what would make this better? Another beer! I’m just warmin’ up!

    Harpoon UFO Raspberry Hefeweizen
    Sayyy, didn’t I DVR Mad Men last night? Need to check that out while I’m….uh….folding laundry? Darn it, didn’t I do that already? I need my work clothes to be clean. Well, beer makes it better (again). What do you think, Don?

     

     

    don-draper-shrug

     

    Check facebook really quick…..darn it, there goes another hour. Wait! A Bee question, I’d better answer this e-mail now –

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    You know what? It’s getting kind of, erm, late.

    Maybe I should get some rest and try this again tomorrow.

     


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  • Bee Log: Stardate Day 18

    Posted on by The Thousand Yard Stare Comment

    Partial Inspection: Day 18

    Time: 12:30 pm

    Weather: 80

    Blooming: Roses, Dewberry

    Combs: Comb on Bars 1 through 6 and starting on 7. Really was just checking for straightness and cross comb. no issues. Worker brood capped two or three inches at top on bars 3 and 4 and mid bars 5 and 6.

    Plan on different timing, opening up the hive this time got them really irritated.

    Swarming: N/A

    Queen Issues: None, she’s out and laying.

    Celebratory Beer: N/A – do that later.

    bee_day18


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  • “Nobody can describe a fool to the life, without much patient self-inspection” Frank Moore Colby

    Posted on by The Thousand Yard Stare Comment

    Partial Inspection: Day 11

    Time: 9:00 am

    Weather: 76

    Blooming: Roses, Dewberry

    Combs: Comb on Bars 1, 2, 3, 4 and all straight. Worker brood capped two or three inches at top on bars 3 and 4 so queen is laying.
    Plan on different timing, opening up the hive this time got them really irritated. Didn’t pull first bar because they were already really really angry.

    Swarming: N/A although they are bearding outside when it is warmer. When it’s cold they are stuffing themselves into the hive.

    Queen Issues: None, she’s out and laying.

    Celebratory Beer: N/A – do that later.


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  • Clever Post TItle

    Posted on by The Thousand Yard Stare Comment

    Partial Inspection: Day 8

    Weather: 79

    Blooming: Roses, Dewberry

    Combs: Comb on Bars 1, 2, 3 all straight. .  Large 6×6 on bar 1 , smaller 6×4 on bar 3. Removed empty queen cage, she’s wandering around somewhere.

    No brood noticed, but only a partial inspection to confirm that comb is all straight, which it is. Lots of comb for only 8 days per the books. Still haven’t smoked (don’t have a smoked) but used the new bee suit. Haven’t been stung yet, haven’t even seen evidence that the suit has been stung. Have refilled the feeder once a day for the last 5 days or so

    Swarming: N/A although they are bearding outside when it is warmer. When it’s cold they are stuffing themselves into the hive.

    Queen Issues: None, she’s out but need to reinspect in two days to check.

    Celebratory Beer: Abita Purple Haze, and Blood and Honey.

    Impressive Bee Photo of the Day:

    IMG_20140501_173211094_HDR


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  • “We’ll try to hold off as long as we can. We’re crossing our fingers.” Mark Sexton

    Posted on by The Thousand Yard Stare Comment

    Bee Log: Day 3

    Inspection

    Weather: 75

    Blooming: Roses, Dewberry

    Combs: Comb on Bars 1 & 2.  Large 6×6 on bar 1 (angled), smaller 4×2 on bar 2.  Queen is not out of cage yet although they are definitely freeing her, should be out by next weekend. Because I didn’t follow instruction (or at least misunderstood) when installing the queen cage, they build the larger comb at an angle parallel to the queen cage, so I cut that down. Had problems reattaching the comb (it’s like jello) so properly attached queen cage so that comb is built straight and put the cut comb on the hive floor for reuse. Comb on bar 2 is straight

    No brood yet since queen is not out, comb is being filled with nectar, comb is completely white since it’s being built with the sugar that I’m feeding them. Bees were pretty ticked off that I was fooling around with the hive. I still haven’t smoked any of them. Haven’t been stung yet, haven’t even seen evidence that the suit has been stung. Refilled feeder once, they had emptied completely after installation while I was at work yesterday.

    Also marked the ends of all bars on one side to designate direction of installation.

    Swarming: N/A

    Queen Issues: None, she’s still in the cage, confirmed that they’ve almost freed her. There’s a bee in there with her which must be a caretaker bee, but I didn’t see him in there before. The hole in the plug may be big enough that one could have gotten in?

    Celebratory Beer: Abita Purple Haze


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  • “I’m not nervous, because it’s hockey. Why are you supposed to be nervous? It’s a game.” Ilya Bryzgalov

    Posted on by The Thousand Yard Stare Comment

    Bee Log: Day 2

    Last night before I went to bed, I got curious and put on my headlamp flashlight (from my prior life as a coal miner) and checked out the bees. They were globbed up in a clump on the outside of the hive at the ledge, on the opposite side the queen was on.

    When I got up this morning, I didn’t see any bees, but it was still dark.

    Once the sun started coming out a few started crawling out and buzzing around.

    What really worried me is how quiet they are. Very very quiet. Like, “I can’t hear them” quiet.

    It makes me think there’s something wrong, but I have a day or two before I need to check for comb, so I’ll just wait for now.

    Nervous, nervous, nervous even though I’m sure they’re fine.


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  • “We’re this pack of honeybees just working away.” Ray Garcia

    Posted on by The Thousand Yard Stare Comment

    Gosh what an exhausting day.

    The bees finally showed up. Woo-hoo!

    The brakes of the UPS truck creaked as it glided to a halt. I peeked out the window as the driver walked slowly to the door, holding the box up so he could see the precious cargo. In the middle of a conference call, I answered the door with a headset and laptop in hand.
    “I’ve been delivering packages for about ten years. I’ve delivered live lobsters, but this is the first time I’ve ever delivered bees.”

    Me: “Oh really?”

    This is what he was carrying. As is. Pretty cool, huh? The scary part:  Those bees were mad. Aaaangry. Very irritated.  Hearing about a 1000 angry bees in your home is a little unnerving.

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    As soon as I brought them in, I put down some newspaper and sprayed them with some sugar water.  They immediately calmed down. Holy crap! It worked!

    It was go time.

    I suited up with my army surplus mechanic’s coveralls.  Sure they were green, and the bees could mistake me for a bear, or a bear shaped object and sting me to death. I’d take my chances. I put on my pith helmet and the bee veil and gloves.

    Game time.

    I put on my big boy pants, swallowed my nervousness and grabbed the bees.  I ignored the book, went straight from memory. Pulled the queen out, checked to make sure she was good (she was) and then pinned her to the first bar. The first rush of bees when I pulled the queen and feeding can…..uh…..*gulp*. Since there’s a giant mound of bees, the sugar spray really only gets on the outside of the screen. The bees on the inside were pretty excited.

    Gathered my wits, installed the bees….uh….and I left the feeder inside. D’OH!

    Ran inside with no bees trailing and got the feeder. None of the bees were really in attack mode. I didn’t get stung, I think they were more curious than anything. Pretty interesting.
    1010381_10152384697689452_4495841266411516487_n

    So I’m also supposed to start a bee log.

    So here goes:

    Day 1.
    Installation.

    No comb (obviously)
    Refilled feeder once, they had emptied completely after installation while I was at work
    Weather: 80 degrees, up to 90 during the day on the day of install.
    Blooming: Only noticed dewberry bush in the backyard blooming. All front yard quit blooming about a week and a half ago (during one of the cold snaps) Fruit trees in neighbors yard aren’t doing anything yet.
    Combs: None
    What is in the Combs?: N/A
    Swarming?: N/A
    Queen Issues: None, queen healthy, removed cork, they should be eating away.
    Celebratory Beer after massive adrenaline rush from installation of bees: Revolver Blood and Honey

     


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