• Tag Archives officer

  • “Stupidity, like virtue, is its own reward.” Bill Davidsen

    Posted on by The Thousand Yard Stare Comment

    Since I’ve been pretty busy I haven’t had time to update with a lot of things that have been on my mind so I’ll cheat and tell you about another brush with the law.

    It was about 1993 or so, I was taking my girlfriend and her friend (and her friend’s baby) to Austin.  We were going out 290 (why 290? Well, see, both my ex-girlfriend and her friend were total bitches, so they gave me an approximate destination and I started driving toward it.)  We were speeding rather excessively since I really didn’t know where I was going, and I came over the crest of the hill probably doing 95 miles an hour. (I’m guessing it was a 65 or 70 mph zone). So here I am in my light blue 1991 Acura Integra, speeding like a madman, and immediately I see a cop and he flashes his lights and starts tailing.

    Up until that point, I don’t think I’d ever been pulled over for speeding. I was a pretty safe/sneaky driver.  That and I had a decent Cobra radar detector.

    So, the cop walks up to the car, and says, “Is there a reason you were going so fast?”

    Here’s the part I can’t believe. In my impatience, and frustration at these women I say, “Because I was in a hurry!”

    Peripherally I can see my girlfriend’s eyes getting big, and from the back I can almost hear her friend’s eyes popping out of their sockets.

    “License and Insurance please”

    I hand both to the police officer, he walks away, and it’s dead silent.

    I have a very, very deep sinking feeling that I’m in trouble.

    The officer walks back to the car, hands me my license and says, “You need to slow down and be more careful……..and put that baby in a baby seat too.”

    I stutter, “Yes sir officer”.

    And off he went.

    Now, I’m not sure exactly what happened. The picture on my license is the same as it was below (priestly) and I had totally forgotten about it.

    My girlfriend was flabbergasted. That’s the only word I can use. They’re both like, “How the hell did you get away with that??”

    I showed them the license and they were appropriately astonished and amused.

    I think I’ve only got one more good “get out of jail” story. I’ll save that one until next time.


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  • “There’s a line in the picture where he snarls, ‘Nobody tells me what to do.’ That’s exactly how I’ve felt all my life.” ~ Marlon Brando

    Posted on by The Thousand Yard Stare Comment

    In a follow up, the officer of the law definitely has his eye on me. I’ve passed by him twice now – he’s been hiding next to the volleyball court again. And he’s staring me down when I pass by.

    ******//////******

    In another follow up, I didn’t really think much of the robbing/mugging at the time, I survived, and let it pass.  About six or seven years later, I realized how much it freaked me out. I went to a drive through ATM over off San Felipe and as I was getting my card back, something flashed out of the corner of my eye. It was totally something peripheral, but I flung my wallet to the floor (or so I thought) and then sped away. My heart was racing, I was freaking out.

    A week or so later, I got my wallet back in the mail. I guess in my panic, I threw it out the window! Of course, there wasn’t any cash in it (hence the need to go to the ATM) but I did get my license back. Which was nice. And also probably the cause of getting it mailed back to begin with.


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