The Thousand Yard Stare

Like I said last month, welcome to the club. C’mon in and set a spell! You’ll like it here with us touring musicians-we’re all either crazy, stupid or both. So let’s see… You’ve been on tour and you’ve frozen and starved all over America-in fact, maybe you’ve even managed to starve and freeze in exotic foreign countries! By now you’ve probably been ripped off by club owners and promoters; your van has broken down in the middle of nowhere at 3 a.m.; you’ve been stopped and searched by the cops; you’ve managed to lose seven different guitar tuners. Believe it or not though, these are “the good ol’ days!” Someday you’re going to look back and laugh (keep telling yourself that-it works, believe me) but for now, we have to get into some stuff that really sucks-namely, business.

Believe me, I’m with you. The only business I want to concern myself with is the business of SOUND-making it, listening to it…. hooking 12 stomp boxes together just to see what it sounds like. You know, the cool stuff. More often than not, creative people aren’t very practical, and vice-versa. This is why there’s a long line of sharks waiting for fresh talent to come along. The industry will chew you up and spit you out and that’s the way it’s always been. You have to protect yourself and your music and you really have to keep on top of your business.

Once your band has become a solid “thing”-you write your own songs, you tour, you make a little money here and there and people dig you- you should start thinking about moving up to the next level. For example, you’ll want to start thinking about what kind of deal you’re going to set your sights on: whether you want to press your own CD or vinyl (and maybe start your own record company) or if you want to sign some kind of a deal with an independent company. Maybe you want to concentrate on getting a major label deal. Whichever path you choose, you have to start making business decisions.

I know a couple of musicians that are right on the brink-they’re just getting into dealing with little labels and all of a sudden they’re freaking out. They aren’t sure about what they’re signing and the labels are trying to get them to do things that they don’t want to do. Project one, I tell them, numero uno-the most important thing to do-is GET A LAWYER. Entertainment lawyers don’t come cheap, but there’s really no way to avoid using their services. It takes some of the fun out of it, but if you learn to think of a record label as a bank (they lend you money to record and make videos, and they take a lot of vacations), and your band as a business (you have to work really hard all the time to sell your products and services), then the need for a lawyer becomes more obvious. You wouldn’t want to bankrupt your business, right?

If you’re going to move up to this new level that I’m talking about, you’re going to start having to make decisions that could really screw you later on-that’s where a good entertainment lawyer comes in. As well as helping you to make the right choices and to understand the music business better (make your lawyer explain everything in simple terms; it’s what he or she gets paid for!), a good lawyer can actually help you shop your demo. As I said several columns back, labels don’t generally listen to unsolicited tapes-a single demo tape in the hands of a well-connected lawyer could do more for your band than mailing out two hundred.

Don’t automatically go with the first entertainment lawyer you find. Just because someone has a law degree and specializes in music doesn’t automatically mean that they’re going to be good for you. It’s important to hook up with one that has a good understanding of what you’re trying to do and is hip to the type of music you play-meet with a few before you make your choice.

One of the first business-type things that you’ll want to do is to do a title search of your band’s name. Good names are getting harder and harder to come up with and it would be a shame if, having finally found one you really like, some other group ends up claiming and using it. You’d have to modify yours if you didn’t want to just give up and find another. This happens all the time; have you heard of The English Beat, for example? The L.A. power pop band The Beat were around first, so the English band had to change their name. Other good examples are Wrathchild America, The Mission U.K. and Dinosaur Jr. Also, did you know that in Canada, Bush are called Bush X? It should go without saying that it’s not a good idea to borrow a name that you know is a registered trademark-just ask Redd Kross and the Low and Sweet orchestra! I can’t for the life of me figure out why the bug spray company never came after Black Flag. Lucky for them, I guess…. Anyway, we’re out of space. More on trademarks, copyrights, business, the law and other things that suck next month.

People sometimes ask me to show them how to play the clean intro passage to “I Am Legend” (side two, song one on La Sexorcisto). Over the next few columns that’s what I’m going to do. It’s mostly based around chords I stumbled onto while messing around; FIGURE 1 is the first four bars.

See you next month.

Let’s assume you’ve decided to do it. That’s right, you hocked the family jewels, your significant other is crying, and your parents think you’re a freak (so what’s new?). You’ve got strings, picks, extra tubes, extra fuses, an extra strap, a road case for your head, extra instrument and speaker cables, a sleeping bag, a reading light, 10 to 20 good tapes, a third-hand van (get AAA-trust me on this!) and a burning desire to rock anywhere, anyhow, anytime. Cool. You’ve just joined an exclusive club who’s members include everyone from Django to Les Paul to Jimi to Eddie Van Halen. Have a good tour and let’s talk about what to do when you get back.

If you’re in a band, you probably need a day job (those of you named Vanderbilt proceed directly to this month’s lesson), but the screwy thing is that most jobs that aren’t embarrassingly uncool involve nighttime hours or weekends (record stores, guitar stores, clubs, bars). Those are times when you’re supposed to be playing or practicing! Another problem: employers don’t take very kindly to the attitude of, “Well I’m gonna keep my hair the way it is and I don’t care what you say. Basically, I’m not really interested in you or your job but I’ll force myself to do it because I need to make money right now. And, by the way, I have to leave all the time to go on tour so please hire me again whenever I come back.”

Whether you like it or not, starting your first low-level tour will invariably involve quitting your job (I fondly remember the feeling of telling my boss to stick it, pulling away from the curb and heading into the wilderness of New Jersey), which may or may not be a good thing. If you’re still in school, you might be able to save up some money and tour during the summer, but if you’re working, it may be really hard to find one of those kind, understanding bosses who’ll keep your job waiting for you. Of course, there’s usually a place in every town where people in bands work-try your local espresso spot, comic book store or groovy toy shop: the last “straight” job I had was working at a toy store that, at various other times, employed members of Hole, STP and Redd Kross. The pay was crap but you could look like Satan and go on tour. ‘Nuff said.

The scary thing about touring is that you’re really on your own. A lot of smaller bands enjoy going to Europe (an entirely different can of worms that we’ll open at a later date) because the clubs over there generally feed you and a lot of times will put you up for the night as well. Clubs over here basically couldn’t care less about you. I’m serious: it’ll be hard to get a lot of places you’ll be playing to even give you water, let alone food or decent money. As I see it, you’ve got three priorities on the road:

1. Keep the van running.
2. Keep the gear working.
3. Keep everyone fed.

Most of what you make will go for gas, but why not take what’s left over and establish a food allowance (show me a band member and I’ll show you someone who is very capable of living on five dollars a day). It’s not a bad idea to keep stuff like peanut butter and rice cakes around and a lot of bands even bring a little sterno-stove with them. It’s not very much fun to eat cheap (how many ways can you make macaroni and cheese?), but you’ll be really glad you have some money saved up when your transmission falls out on the highway.

Life on the road can be harsh, and don’t think that getting a record deal will miraculously change things-it won’t. I was still riding in a van and hauling Ampeg SVT cabinets at two a.m. six months after we released our first major label album. It’s funny, but even at a relatively high level of touring comfort with buses, a crew, catering and hotel rooms, people will come along for a few days and say, “I don’t know how you can live like this!” to which I reply, “Try spending two months using your Marshall head as a pillow!”

If you think you have what it takes, and most people don’t, why not set yourself a time limit of, say, two years where you do nothing but work towards making your band happen. You will probably suffer, but you won’t be alone. Ever hear the story about Metallica living in a rehearsal room in New York? The guys in Anthrax lent them a space heater so that at least they wouldn’t freeze while they were starving. The positive side to all this, and I know I sound like your crusty grandpa, is that sleeping in practice spaces and in stuffy vans definitely helps you develop character. So, if you don’t give in or break up, you’ll have one of the tightest, strongest bands around by the time you finish your first tour. The really bad thing about the “alternative explosion” or whatever it’s called this week, is that a lot of bands are making records without going through some of the things that really give music its soul. Biff, bam, pow: form a band, make a record, get on a tour bus, complain that life is hard.

Sometimes I think there oughtta be a law: no record deal until you tour for a year. There are some great bands that get to live well right out of the box, but there are also an awful lot of mediocre ones.

Well, enough of my bitching. Over the last couple of columns we’ve learned the intro solo to “Super Charger Heaven,” from Astro Creep 2000… This time we’re gonna zip through the first half of the second solo in the song. It’s more of the really straightforward, “Chuck Berry from Mars” stuff and is shown in FIGURE 1.

See you next month.

Okay, we’ve come a long way with the “you’re actually going to play a gig” angle. We’ve talked about your set list, gear, transportation, advertising and getting your friends to help out for free. We’ve even talked about selling merchandise and building up a mailing list. Now I guess it’s time to start thinking about playing in the next town. Making that jump is tough, but if you want to get anywhere you’re going to have to do it sooner or later. (No, I’m not talking about getting record company people to see your band. I’m referring to the fact that guitar music is live music, and it’s up to you to bring it to the people-they’re not going to come to you.)

I’ve already mentioned in this column that when it comes to getting gigs, your most important tool, apart from having a good demo, is networking-communicating with people, and that means trying to meet everybody you can and building up contacts. For example, if you live in Chicago and you meet some kids at a show who are from Milwaukee (90 miles away), you could ask them for names of good places to play there and maybe swap phone numbers and addresses. See if you can get them to send you the local entertainment papers. Then, you can start contacting clubs and sending them your demo package. This will cost you money. Get used to it.

f you’re lucky enough to live near an alternative book or record store, go take a look. I’ve seen plenty of magazines and even books about booking your own gigs. There’s also a whole underground network of fanzines out there-people all over the world interviewing bands, reviewing gigs, albums and demos. Usually, when you buy one of these, it will have a listing of other similar fanzines.

Send your demo tape to these people. Tell whomever you’ve found that you might want to tour, and ask if they can help you out. We used to do this all the time. Our old booking agent, Sean Yseult, would call fanzine editors and ask where we could play in their town and also if they could think of a place for us to stay the night of the gig. We’d tell ’em, “Hey, we aren’t axe murderers. Can we stay at your house?” I’m not saying that because someone is a fanzine editor their house is automatically your bed and breakfast, but we’ve slept on the floors of quite a few of these people’s homes.

Now that I think about it, there’s all kinds of information right here on the Internet. There’s so much stuff out there that I haven’t even begun to scratch the surface as far as what’s available, but if you go looking on the Internet, I bet you’ll find something. Speaking of the Internet, it’s another great tool for getting gigs or even finding people to play with. You just have to be resourceful. Thanks to E-mail, people are now able to book whole tours without picking up a phone.

There are some websites out there that are specifically aimed at helping the D.I.Y. band. Here’s one to help you get started: The address is www.inyoureye.com and it consists of two parts. The first is a fanzine type of thing consisting of interviews, articles and features by and about players and bands who have done or are doing music in a do-it-yourself way. There are also pieces about booking shows, dealing with record labels, etc. The second part is a comprehensive database that contains booking contacts (established clubs and smaller promoters, too), press contacts and college radio contacts. And, to help you through it, the site is designed so you’ll be able to search and cross-reference information by musical genre, geographic region, venue capacity, etc. All right kids…get on-line and get in the van!

Last issue we learned the first four bars of my “Super Charger Heaven” [Astro Creep 2000…] intro solo. This month we’re gonna look at the second half of it. As you can see from FIGURE 1, it can be broken down into three distinct little phrases. Phrase 1 is identical to a phrase that is played twice in the first half of the solo while Phrase 2 is the same thing, but a beat longer. We then finish up with Phrase 3, a typical, rockabilly-like chord thing at the 14th fret. This is a funny kind of a chord-by itself it sounds really major and happy, but in the context of the song, it works completely differently.

We’ll do some more Chuck Berry “spy” soloing from “Super Charger Heaven” next issue and we’ll talk about choosing between touring and eating.

Last month we started talking about gigging and touched on stuff like playing anywhere you possibly can, getting your own soundman, having friends help carry your shit, transportation and networking. This month we’re gonna add more to this angle.

One thing that almost every good live band does is to structure their set to achieve maximum impact. Don’t just go out there and play your songs in any random order. Plan your set out so that it has peaks and valleys, especially if you’re in a high-energy band. Start with two or three “thrashers” and then maybe ease off a little and play something slower so you and the audience can rest.

The science of dynamics, or volume contrasts, dictates that if you come out blazing and then keep on blazing without pause, people will start becoming numb to it. Then, no matter how heavy your stuff gets, it’ll lack impact. But if you play something heavy and then follow it with something quieter, then go back to playing something heavy again, it will seem really heavy (listen to some Nirvana records-they were masters of this art). Also, once you’ve played out a couple of times and recorded some stuff for people to take home, you’ll probably have one or two songs that are your most popular; play one at the beginning of your set and one at the end-in with a bang, out with a bang.

Some bands like to keep things spontaneous and loose by playing gigs with no set list and deciding collectively what song they’re gonna play next while they’re actually on stage. That may be cool and adventurous for you, but it can also be really unfair to the audience if you have a lot of dead space between songs. PEOPLE NEED TO ROCK! Take your audience into consideration they came to see you to have a good time.

Obviously, when you’re playing live shows, something will go wrong with your gear sooner or later. Make sure you bring a spare of anything that could possibly break-you’ll be really, really glad that you did. If it can break, it will. Bring spare strings, instrument and speaker cables, picks, drum sticks, drum heads, a spare snare drum (if you can afford it), batteries (if you’re using stomp boxes), tubes (if you’re using a tube amp) and definitely amp fuses. The latter is something I never thought about until my Marshall head blew up. My advice is to get one of those little metal boxes that you store spare fuses in and tape it to the back of your amp.

Another thing you should definitely have a spare of, if at all possible, is a guitar. Even if your backup axe is really lame, it’s infinitely better to be able to continue your set with a less-than-perfect sound than to have to stop the gig altogether if something goes wrong. There’s nothing as bad as watching a show where the guitarist breaks a string and then has to actually stand there on stage and put a new one on. I once saw that happen to the guitar player in a band you’ve heard of: he snapped a string on a Jackson with a Floyd Rose locking system on it, which was his only guitar. Because he had the bridge set up to “float” (so he could pull the bar up as well as push it down), as soon as the string broke, the guitar went way out of tune. So, the band had to stop playing while he stood onstage, undid the locking nut, took the old string off, snipped the ball-end off the new string, put it on, stretched the new string out, re-tuned the guitar, locked the nut up again and re-tuned again. It took five long minutes and it sucked!

Can you imagine the most super-rich rock star you know of standing outside of a club handing out gig fliers in the middle of winter, freezing his or her ass off? Or running around at four o’clock in the morning with a bucket of wheat paste, putting up posters? Well, they all did it. Flyers for shows are good because they help let people know what’s going on when, where and for how much. It’s good to create some form of band logo (the Kiss and Metallica logos are great examples) or symbol that people will instantly identify with your band. There are countless computer graphics programs that can help make type look cool.

As well as handing out gig fliers at clubs and on the streets there may be guitar and record stores that will let you put one up on their bulletin board. You can also put fliers on telephone poles if there’s a hip neighborhood in your town where a lot of people will see them. Before you do this, though, check your town’s local laws regarding postering: there are a lot of places where it’s illegal!

Having a band is kind of like having a company. Unfortunately, especially at the beginning, you’re going to have to keep putting your money into the band without any return on your investment. No one’s paying you yet, but you have to buy equipment and maintain it, afford a practice space, transportation and so on. It sucks, but that’s just the way it is-it’s a test of faith, really. But, if you stick with it, one day you might actually start making some bucks and at that point you definitely want to have some form of band fund-maybe even a band bank account. This way, you’ll have a pool of money that you can tap into to pay for photocopying fliers, financing a demo, printing T-shirts, stickers, whatever. Decide who in the band is the most responsible, and designate him/her as band accountant. Damn. I’ve talked so much we don’t have much room left for playing this month. To make up for this, we’ll do a lot more playing next issue. FIGURE 1 is the “spy movie theme” verse riff of “Super-Charger Heaven” from Astro-Creep 2000 and is a good example of two ideas we’ve discussed in recent columns octaves and skronking. The octaves occur in bar 2, while the skronk (which is caused by the fretted Bb note on the low E string ringing against the open A note) happens at the end of bar 4.

Hi. Last month we talked about the purpose of recording a demo tape: to get you gigs. We also touched on how to package your tape properly, but we didn’t get into how you can make a decent-sounding demo without going broke-a financial state you’re probably already in.

If you already own a four-track machine, you’ll be pleased to hear that it is possible to record an acceptable-sounding demo tape on it. I’ve heard plenty of clear, powerful demos that were done on four tracks. But, before trying to make yours, you should either get a book on recording techniques or get some advice, because recording an actual band on a four-track is a difficult thing to do well. Let me explain: you’ve only got four tracks to work with and, on many machines, you can only record on two at any one time. As a result, you may have to record several things at once–like, for example, the whole drum kit on one track and the rhythm guitar and bass together on another. You’re obviously going to have to make sure that the relative balance of the instruments is perfect. If the bass ends up being too quiet relative to the guitar, or the cymbals are too loud compared to the rest of the kit, you’re not going to be able to “fix it in the mix.”

It is possible to bounce tracks together on a four-track, but the more you do it, the more you’re going to diminish sound quality. As a general rule, bouncing should be kept to a minimum. Having said that, all those great-sounding Beatles records were recorded with a four-track (it’s all that was available at the time), and they bounced tracks like crazy. You can get good at anything, providing you work on it enough.

You’re not going to have much opportunity to do guitar and vocal overdubs on a four-track. But that’s okay: it’s best to keep things simple for a demo. To do it right, you’re going to need at least two decent mikes. I recommend a Shure SM-57 for instruments and an SM-58 for vocals. These are the same high-quality mikes used by the pros, and you can get them for about 100 bucks each. As for the space, your rehearsal space should do just fine.

If you own a four-track machine but what I’ve said thus far sounds like too much of a hassle, you might want to record your demo at a cheap 8- or 16-track studio. Inexpensive ADAT (digital 8-track recorder) studios are popping up all over the place so you should be able to find one through your local music entertainment paper. There are always ads for cheap recording places on the bulletin board at your local music or record store, so check them out, too.

Before booking time in a studio, make sure your whole band knows the songs you intend to record and can play them together as a band. Even the cheapest recording studio known to man is an expensive place to rehearse in. What you don’t want to do is get there, set up, start recording and then suddenly realize that someone doesn’t have his or her shit together. Treat your recording session like a gig: make sure your guitars have new strings on them and that everyone has spares of stuff that might break or need to be replaced: strings, batteries (believe me, there’s nothing worse than trying to find a 9-volt at 3:30 in the morning), guitar cables, amp fuses, spare tubes, drum sticks and drum heads. Even if there is a music store near the studio you’re using, you don’t want to pay for studio time while someone runs out to get whatever it is you need to continue. If you’re recording late at night or on a Sunday, the store probably won’t be open anyway. Recording studios charge you by the hour, regardless of whether you ‘re recording or not.

That’s enough talk for this column, let’s play . . . The Skronk Chord. In the previous two issues, we looked at riffs that feature notes that “rub” against each other to create an unsettling, dissonant sound. I call this skronking. This month we’re gonna learn a nasty-sounding chord comprised of two notes that, when combined, have a high skronk factor: the root and the diminished fifth. FIGURE 1 is a chord diagram of this moveable chord shape. with the root on the low E string. FIGURE 2 is the exact same chord but with the root note on the A string. As you’ll hear, these two chords sound pretty dark and dissonant, even when played with a clean tone. Adding distortion makes the picture even uglier. To make ’em sound even bigger, you can double the root an octave higher, as shown in FIGURES 3 and 4.

A good example of this chord in action is found in the main verse riff of “Blur the Technicolor,” on Astro Creep: 2000. FIGURE 5 depicts the riff played using single notes, while FIGURE 6 shows the riff with the chord. Play the two versions back to back and you’ll hear the skronk factor added by this simple chord shape. To modulate the sound even more on the LP, I used an MXR Phase 901 bought from a junkie for ten bucks. Try using this chord in some of your own stuff, but don’t overdo it. There’s truth in that old saying about the pitfalls of having too much of a good thing.

Since I’m in a signed band people always ask me how a group gets a record deal. Here’s the secret: there is no secret. There’s only this: 1) form a band, 2) write some good songs, 3) rehearse ’em (a lot), 4) make a demo, 5) go on tour. From my experience, the only way a major label is going to notice your band is if people come and see you play. Let me give you another piece of advice, too-don’t bother wasting time and money submitting your tapes to record labels.

A lot of songwriters just don’t seem to understand that record company people hardly ever listen to tapes. They’re usually very busy working with the acts they’ve already signed. The only folks who listen to tapes are people who work in the A&R (Artist and Repertoire) department (this is the department that signs and works directly with bands), and even they are usually too busy to do this because they go out every night of the week to see groups play live. So, if your aim is to get signed, there’s really nothing else to do besides practicing, playing and working on your live performance. Also, watch out for those organizations that run “Get a Deal” ads in music papers and magazines You know, the ones that promise they’ll get your tape listened to by A&R people at big labels-providing you pay them a bunch of money, of course. Yeah, right. Stay away from anybody who wants you to give them money up front!

So, if making a demo won’t magically get you a recording contract, why bother with the time and expense of recording one? And, why did I put “make a demo” in my opening list of “things you have to do to get a deal?” In my opinion, there are several reasons why you should make your own tape: 1) To have something to submit to club owners and booking agents so you can actually get out there and start doing some shows. I can’t emphasize enough that getting gigs is the main function of a demo. 2) Having a well-packaged tape is a cool thing to sell at shows. It’s a way for people to take your music home with them. If someone sees your band, likes what he or she hears and decides to spend a few bucks on your tape, then the chances are pretty good that he will play it for a few friends. Hopefully, they’ll like it enough to come to your next show in the area. 3) Lots of college and local radio stations have “local talent shows” on which they play demos. You can’t ask for better exposure than having your songs played on the radio.

Here are a few helpful pointers that will help you get the most mileage out of your demo. First, take the time to make your own insert for the cassette case-it doesn’t cost much, and in this business, first impressions are really important. Second, when you write a letter to a club owner or radio station, make sure that you use a typewriter-don’t scrawl! Sometimes I see demo tapes and I’m amazed at the haphazard way people throw them together. Finally, be sure to put your phone number on the cassette itself, not just the cover. If club owners want to book your band, they’ll know how to get in touch with you right away without having to search for the box the tape came in. Okay, enough business for today. Let’s do some playing!

Last month, we talked about notes “rubbing” against each other-a dissonant effect I call “skronking.” This time out we’re gonna look at a few more skronks from Astro Creep 2000….The first one, FIGURE 1, is the opening to “Grease Paint and Monkey Brains.” The skronk factor here comes at the second and fourth beats of each bar, where I hit fretted notes high up the neck on the G and B strings and the open high E string at the same time (with an upstroke of my pick), and then let all three strings ring while I slowly bend the G-string note up to the same pitch of the note on the B string [unison bend-GW Ed.] I do this sort of thing quite a bit in White Zombie.

FIGURE 2 and FIGURE 3 are both from “Electric Head Pt. 2 (The Ecstasy)” [Astro Creep 2000….Figure 2 occurs in every other bar of the chorus, and the skronking is caused by the F and E notes on the low E string “rubbing against” the ringing F# note on the D string. Figure 3 comes from the breakdown section in the middle of the song and involves the same exact skronk vibe, except this time it’s the G and the G# notes on the A string ringing against the F# note on the G string.

For a primal skronk lesson, be sure to check out the first, self-titled, Killing Joke album! C-YA