• Tag Archives Stuff That Sucks
  • Astro Ink X ~ Hit the road, Jack

    J Yuenger Photo Credit: http://www.lisajohnsonphoto.com/

    Okay, we’ve come a long way with the “you’re actually going to play a gig” angle. We’ve talked about your set list, gear, transportation, advertising and getting your friends to help out for free. We’ve even talked about selling merchandise and building up a mailing list. Now I guess it’s time to start thinking about playing in the next town. Making that jump is tough, but if you want to get anywhere you’re going to have to do it sooner or later. (No, I’m not talking about getting record company people to see your band. I’m referring to the fact that guitar music is live music, and it’s up to you to bring it to the people-they’re not going to come to you.)

    I’ve already mentioned in this column that when it comes to getting gigs, your most important tool, apart from having a good demo, is networking-communicating with people, and that means trying to meet everybody you can and building up contacts. For example, if you live in Chicago and you meet some kids at a show who are from Milwaukee (90 miles away), you could ask them for names of good places to play there and maybe swap phone numbers and addresses. See if you can get them to send you the local entertainment papers. Then, you can start contacting clubs and sending them your demo package. This will cost you money. Get used to it.

    f you’re lucky enough to live near an alternative book or record store, go take a look. I’ve seen plenty of magazines and even books about booking your own gigs. There’s also a whole underground network of fanzines out there-people all over the world interviewing bands, reviewing gigs, albums and demos. Usually, when you buy one of these, it will have a listing of other similar fanzines.

    Send your demo tape to these people. Tell whomever you’ve found that you might want to tour, and ask if they can help you out. We used to do this all the time. Our old booking agent, Sean Yseult, would call fanzine editors and ask where we could play in their town and also if they could think of a place for us to stay the night of the gig. We’d tell ’em, “Hey, we aren’t axe murderers. Can we stay at your house?” I’m not saying that because someone is a fanzine editor their house is automatically your bed and breakfast, but we’ve slept on the floors of quite a few of these people’s homes.

    Now that I think about it, there’s all kinds of information right here on the Internet. There’s so much stuff out there that I haven’t even begun to scratch the surface as far as what’s available, but if you go looking on the Internet, I bet you’ll find something. Speaking of the Internet, it’s another great tool for getting gigs or even finding people to play with. You just have to be resourceful. Thanks to E-mail, people are now able to book whole tours without picking up a phone.

    There are some websites out there that are specifically aimed at helping the D.I.Y. band. Here’s one to help you get started: The address is www.inyoureye.com and it consists of two parts. The first is a fanzine type of thing consisting of interviews, articles and features by and about players and bands who have done or are doing music in a do-it-yourself way. There are also pieces about booking shows, dealing with record labels, etc. The second part is a comprehensive database that contains booking contacts (established clubs and smaller promoters, too), press contacts and college radio contacts. And, to help you through it, the site is designed so you’ll be able to search and cross-reference information by musical genre, geographic region, venue capacity, etc. All right kids…get on-line and get in the van!

    Last issue we learned the first four bars of my “Super Charger Heaven” [Astro Creep 2000…] intro solo. This month we’re gonna look at the second half of it. As you can see from FIGURE 1, it can be broken down into three distinct little phrases. Phrase 1 is identical to a phrase that is played twice in the first half of the solo while Phrase 2 is the same thing, but a beat longer. We then finish up with Phrase 3, a typical, rockabilly-like chord thing at the 14th fret. This is a funny kind of a chord-by itself it sounds really major and happy, but in the context of the song, it works completely differently.

    We’ll do some more Chuck Berry “spy” soloing from “Super Charger Heaven” next issue and we’ll talk about choosing between touring and eating.


  • Astro Ink IX ~ Spreading your disease

    J Yuenger Photo Credit: http://www.lisajohnsonphoto.com/

    Hi and welcome to Astro Ink #9. This month, we’re going to continue talking about getting out there and trying to make things happen for your band as best you can. Let’s start by talking about a subject we touched on in the “Getting Down To Biz” section of the last column-merchandising.

    Assuming you’ve reached the stage where your band is regularly playing shows and has finally started to make some money (yeah, right-$107) and you’ve been able to set-up some kind of band fund, merchandising is a great way of making your money grow. First of all, if you’ve recorded and packaged your demo like we’ve already discussed, you can sell it at your gigs. Second, don’t forget that people love T-shirts, for a variety of reasons: they’re fun, they’re cool-looking (hopefully), and as your band develops into a “thing,” your shirt becomes symbolic of a whole lifestyle. Next time you go out, try counting the number of times you see the Nine Inch Nails logo on shirts, bumper stickers, etc., and you’ll see what I mean. Badges are good, although not as popular as they were in the Seventies and Eighties. Stickers are very good-they cost a lot to make, but at a dollar or two each, you can sell a lot of them to people who can’t afford the 10 or 15 bucks for a T-shirt.

    You can really cut down on costs if you make this stuff yourself by buying your own silk-screening kit, bulk shirts (wholesale!), and sheets of adhesive vinyl (at your local art-supplies store a place that, along with your local Kinkos, you should become familiar with). If you go to high school, check out the graphic arts department; I used to hang out in the print shop at my high school after class and make bootleg shirts of my favorite bands-for a grade!

    Last time we talked about how you probably have friends who want to hang out with your band and be cool and how to put them to work moving equipment and selling merchandise for you. You should also put them to work by setting up a mailing list at the merch table. This is a great way of letting people know what your band is up to, and reminds them that you’re still out there doing things even though you might not have played a gig near them lately. If you really want to get into it and have fun, create your own newsletter. This sort of stuff works. White Zombie’s Psychoholics Anonymous Fan club sends out a “Zombiezine,” and a lot of really big bands publish similar types of newsletters. The saying “out of sight, out of mind” definitely applies here, especially today when there are so many acts fighting for attention. Anything you can do to keep the name of your band out there is a good thing.

    As I said in my first column, I didn’t start playing guitar because I had aspirations of being a guitar hero. I started because I wanted to be in a band playing music and the guitar seemed like the logical choice of instrument. That’s not to say that I don’t like to solo; I like wanking as much as the next guy, but only if it enhances the song. In my opinion, playing a solo just for the sake of having a solo is boring, pointless and predictable. That’s why a lot of our songs don’t have lead breaks-they either didn’t need them, or something else, like a riff or a sample, worked better. Having said that, “Super-Charger Heaven,” from Astro Creep 2000… features quite a bit of lead work and, as we haven’t really touched on the subject of soloing yet, let’s take a look at it.

    Basically, this whole song grew out of a jam. John [Tempesta, drums] was playing a fast beat and I started playing this kinda hot-rod, surf, Link-Wray-meets-Nineties-metal riff. This track is really, really fun to play ’cause it’s got a lot of Chuck Berry-type solos, but they’re all minor and “spy” sounding. When I recorded those leads, we opened up the amp room and put mikes all over the wood floor to try and get a Gretsch-like reverb slap-back. We were really into the idea of this being some kind of rockabilly song from the future. Basically, we were losing our minds at that point.

    The backing part, over which I play all the lead work, is the chorus riff of the song. The intro solo (FIGURE 1) begins in the 10th position on the neck with me fretting the note at the 10th fret on the B string (A) with my index finger and the note at the 12th fret on the G string (G) with my ring finger. I pick/strum the two strings together, then immediately bend the G-string note up to the same pitch as the B-string note (A). (This type of unison bend is a typical Chuck Berry move.) I then move down the neck (towards the nut) to the 9th- and then 8th-fret notes on the G string to add some discordant tension to the proceedings.

    The second phrase of this intro lead (bars 3 and 4) is almost the same as the first (bars 1 and 2), except at the very end I use the note at the 11th fret on the high E string, (D#) which adds to the skronk factor. We’ll finish this solo and rap about using the Internet to get DIY gigging/touring information next month.


  • Astro Ink VIII ~ Rise! Power chords, alternate picking and getting rid of “high-end fry”

    J Yuenger Photo Credit: http://www.lisajohnsonphoto.com/

    Last month we started talking about gigging and touched on stuff like playing anywhere you possibly can, getting your own soundman, having friends help carry your shit, transportation and networking. This month we’re gonna add more to this angle.

    One thing that almost every good live band does is to structure their set to achieve maximum impact. Don’t just go out there and play your songs in any random order. Plan your set out so that it has peaks and valleys, especially if you’re in a high-energy band. Start with two or three “thrashers” and then maybe ease off a little and play something slower so you and the audience can rest.

    The science of dynamics, or volume contrasts, dictates that if you come out blazing and then keep on blazing without pause, people will start becoming numb to it. Then, no matter how heavy your stuff gets, it’ll lack impact. But if you play something heavy and then follow it with something quieter, then go back to playing something heavy again, it will seem really heavy (listen to some Nirvana records-they were masters of this art). Also, once you’ve played out a couple of times and recorded some stuff for people to take home, you’ll probably have one or two songs that are your most popular; play one at the beginning of your set and one at the end-in with a bang, out with a bang.

    Some bands like to keep things spontaneous and loose by playing gigs with no set list and deciding collectively what song they’re gonna play next while they’re actually on stage. That may be cool and adventurous for you, but it can also be really unfair to the audience if you have a lot of dead space between songs. PEOPLE NEED TO ROCK! Take your audience into consideration they came to see you to have a good time.

    Obviously, when you’re playing live shows, something will go wrong with your gear sooner or later. Make sure you bring a spare of anything that could possibly break-you’ll be really, really glad that you did. If it can break, it will. Bring spare strings, instrument and speaker cables, picks, drum sticks, drum heads, a spare snare drum (if you can afford it), batteries (if you’re using stomp boxes), tubes (if you’re using a tube amp) and definitely amp fuses. The latter is something I never thought about until my Marshall head blew up. My advice is to get one of those little metal boxes that you store spare fuses in and tape it to the back of your amp.

    Another thing you should definitely have a spare of, if at all possible, is a guitar. Even if your backup axe is really lame, it’s infinitely better to be able to continue your set with a less-than-perfect sound than to have to stop the gig altogether if something goes wrong. There’s nothing as bad as watching a show where the guitarist breaks a string and then has to actually stand there on stage and put a new one on. I once saw that happen to the guitar player in a band you’ve heard of: he snapped a string on a Jackson with a Floyd Rose locking system on it, which was his only guitar. Because he had the bridge set up to “float” (so he could pull the bar up as well as push it down), as soon as the string broke, the guitar went way out of tune. So, the band had to stop playing while he stood onstage, undid the locking nut, took the old string off, snipped the ball-end off the new string, put it on, stretched the new string out, re-tuned the guitar, locked the nut up again and re-tuned again. It took five long minutes and it sucked!

    Can you imagine the most super-rich rock star you know of standing outside of a club handing out gig fliers in the middle of winter, freezing his or her ass off? Or running around at four o’clock in the morning with a bucket of wheat paste, putting up posters? Well, they all did it. Flyers for shows are good because they help let people know what’s going on when, where and for how much. It’s good to create some form of band logo (the Kiss and Metallica logos are great examples) or symbol that people will instantly identify with your band. There are countless computer graphics programs that can help make type look cool.

    As well as handing out gig fliers at clubs and on the streets there may be guitar and record stores that will let you put one up on their bulletin board. You can also put fliers on telephone poles if there’s a hip neighborhood in your town where a lot of people will see them. Before you do this, though, check your town’s local laws regarding postering: there are a lot of places where it’s illegal!

    Having a band is kind of like having a company. Unfortunately, especially at the beginning, you’re going to have to keep putting your money into the band without any return on your investment. No one’s paying you yet, but you have to buy equipment and maintain it, afford a practice space, transportation and so on. It sucks, but that’s just the way it is-it’s a test of faith, really. But, if you stick with it, one day you might actually start making some bucks and at that point you definitely want to have some form of band fund-maybe even a band bank account. This way, you’ll have a pool of money that you can tap into to pay for photocopying fliers, financing a demo, printing T-shirts, stickers, whatever. Decide who in the band is the most responsible, and designate him/her as band accountant. Damn. I’ve talked so much we don’t have much room left for playing this month. To make up for this, we’ll do a lot more playing next issue. FIGURE 1 is the “spy movie theme” verse riff of “Super-Charger Heaven” from Astro-Creep 2000 and is a good example of two ideas we’ve discussed in recent columns octaves and skronking. The octaves occur in bar 2, while the skronk (which is caused by the fretted Bb note on the low E string ringing against the open A note) happens at the end of bar 4.


  • Astro Ink VII ~ Gigs: The Real Deal

    J Yuenger Photo Credit: http://www.lisajohnsonphoto.com/

    When you start gigging, it always seems like someone in the band pipes up to say, “Hey, man, we shouldn’t play so much-we don’t wanna saturate the market.” Bullshit! Gig as much as you possibly can and learn to deal with the harsh world that looms outside of your garage. Performing in front of an audience is a pretty intense experience-especially if they walk away or lose interest and start talking after a couple of songs. Ouch. And then there are the setup issues: every room, stage, PA and monitor system is completely different. And these are just two of a million things that all take getting used to.

    To my mind, one live show is worth 10 practice sessions. So, play at your school, play at parties, play in the park…play anywhere you can. Learn where bands play in your town, find out who the owner or booking agent is and drop off your tape. A lot of clubs have what they call “audition nights” (White Zombie’s first gig was at a CBGB’s in New York on “audition night”), which are “off’ nights when business is slow and new bands are allowed to play for free. Like it or not, you’re probably gonna have to play for free for a while. Think about it; until you start making a club owner money, why should he or she pay you?

    Two of the most important things about playing live you should be familiar with are transportation and support staff. Luckily, everybody loves to be cool and get into shows for free. So get some of your friends to help you carry your gear in exchange for free admission. Maybe you can even teach them to change strings or drumheads and, if things go well, maybe you’ll eventually pay them. A lot of today’s most sought-after road managers started out as the kid down the street who helped friends in a band carry guitar cases. Along with roadies, you might want to consider getting a soundman too. This is more difficult, because doing sound well is a skill that people expect to get paid for. A good soundman is a very necessary and important asset, because you don’t want to be at the mercy of whatever yahoo is mixing at the club you’re playing. It does you no good if a major label A&R; guy sees you play the best gig of your life if the club’s sound guy makes you sound like shit. If you are at the mercy of said yahoo, keep in mind that tipping doesn’t hurt.

    If there are any other bands in your area that play music similar to yours, work together-what the hell. If a local scene doesn’t exist, book your own shows, if necessary, and create one. Teaming up with another band to play gigs can make things easier, because you can share speaker cabs and even a drum kit. This works especially well if you’ve got to rent a van to get to a show. You can cut your expenses in half by putting two bands in it.

    That’s enough “real world” stuff for this column. Let’s play.

    Playing with a heavily distorted sound can often lend a monotonous sameness to your parts. One interval that really seems to cut through the roar of overdriven overtones is the octave. In the right context, octaves can sound really heavy. A good example of octave usage in White Zombie’s music is the intro riff to “Electric Head” Pt. 2 (The Ecstasy) on Astro Creep 2000, in which I play unison octave notes on the D and low E strings. I fret the low-E-string notes with my pointer [index] finger and the D string notes with my pinkie. I angle my index finger so that its fleshy underside rests on the A string and mutes it. This means that when I play each octave I can hit all three low strings with my pick and not worry about the A strings ringing.

    When playing this riff, you should use a downstroke only for the first octave. The rest of the riff is a combination of legato slides and upstrokes as indicated in FIGURE 1. So, it’s downstroke, upstrokes, slide, upstroke, slide, upstroke, and so on. I’ve seen transcriptions of this riff where every single octave is picked, and you totally get the wrong feel if you play it that way.


  • Astro Ink VI ~ More about demo tapes

    J Yuenger Photo Credit: http://www.lisajohnsonphoto.com/

    Hi. Last month we talked about the purpose of recording a demo tape: to get you gigs. We also touched on how to package your tape properly, but we didn’t get into how you can make a decent-sounding demo without going broke-a financial state you’re probably already in.

    If you already own a four-track machine, you’ll be pleased to hear that it is possible to record an acceptable-sounding demo tape on it. I’ve heard plenty of clear, powerful demos that were done on four tracks. But, before trying to make yours, you should either get a book on recording techniques or get some advice, because recording an actual band on a four-track is a difficult thing to do well. Let me explain: you’ve only got four tracks to work with and, on many machines, you can only record on two at any one time. As a result, you may have to record several things at once–like, for example, the whole drum kit on one track and the rhythm guitar and bass together on another. You’re obviously going to have to make sure that the relative balance of the instruments is perfect. If the bass ends up being too quiet relative to the guitar, or the cymbals are too loud compared to the rest of the kit, you’re not going to be able to “fix it in the mix.”

    It is possible to bounce tracks together on a four-track, but the more you do it, the more you’re going to diminish sound quality. As a general rule, bouncing should be kept to a minimum. Having said that, all those great-sounding Beatles records were recorded with a four-track (it’s all that was available at the time), and they bounced tracks like crazy. You can get good at anything, providing you work on it enough.

    You’re not going to have much opportunity to do guitar and vocal overdubs on a four-track. But that’s okay: it’s best to keep things simple for a demo. To do it right, you’re going to need at least two decent mikes. I recommend a Shure SM-57 for instruments and an SM-58 for vocals. These are the same high-quality mikes used by the pros, and you can get them for about 100 bucks each. As for the space, your rehearsal space should do just fine.

    If you own a four-track machine but what I’ve said thus far sounds like too much of a hassle, you might want to record your demo at a cheap 8- or 16-track studio. Inexpensive ADAT (digital 8-track recorder) studios are popping up all over the place so you should be able to find one through your local music entertainment paper. There are always ads for cheap recording places on the bulletin board at your local music or record store, so check them out, too.

    Before booking time in a studio, make sure your whole band knows the songs you intend to record and can play them together as a band. Even the cheapest recording studio known to man is an expensive place to rehearse in. What you don’t want to do is get there, set up, start recording and then suddenly realize that someone doesn’t have his or her shit together. Treat your recording session like a gig: make sure your guitars have new strings on them and that everyone has spares of stuff that might break or need to be replaced: strings, batteries (believe me, there’s nothing worse than trying to find a 9-volt at 3:30 in the morning), guitar cables, amp fuses, spare tubes, drum sticks and drum heads. Even if there is a music store near the studio you’re using, you don’t want to pay for studio time while someone runs out to get whatever it is you need to continue. If you’re recording late at night or on a Sunday, the store probably won’t be open anyway. Recording studios charge you by the hour, regardless of whether you ‘re recording or not.

    That’s enough talk for this column, let’s play . . . The Skronk Chord. In the previous two issues, we looked at riffs that feature notes that “rub” against each other to create an unsettling, dissonant sound. I call this skronking. This month we’re gonna learn a nasty-sounding chord comprised of two notes that, when combined, have a high skronk factor: the root and the diminished fifth. FIGURE 1 is a chord diagram of this moveable chord shape. with the root on the low E string. FIGURE 2 is the exact same chord but with the root note on the A string. As you’ll hear, these two chords sound pretty dark and dissonant, even when played with a clean tone. Adding distortion makes the picture even uglier. To make ’em sound even bigger, you can double the root an octave higher, as shown in FIGURES 3 and 4.

    A good example of this chord in action is found in the main verse riff of “Blur the Technicolor,” on Astro Creep: 2000. FIGURE 5 depicts the riff played using single notes, while FIGURE 6 shows the riff with the chord. Play the two versions back to back and you’ll hear the skronk factor added by this simple chord shape. To modulate the sound even more on the LP, I used an MXR Phase 901 bought from a junkie for ten bucks. Try using this chord in some of your own stuff, but don’t overdo it. There’s truth in that old saying about the pitfalls of having too much of a good thing.


  • Astro Ink V ~ The true purpose of a demo

    J Yuenger Photo Credit: http://www.lisajohnsonphoto.com/

    Since I’m in a signed band people always ask me how a group gets a record deal. Here’s the secret: there is no secret. There’s only this: 1) form a band, 2) write some good songs, 3) rehearse ’em (a lot), 4) make a demo, 5) go on tour. From my experience, the only way a major label is going to notice your band is if people come and see you play. Let me give you another piece of advice, too-don’t bother wasting time and money submitting your tapes to record labels.

    A lot of songwriters just don’t seem to understand that record company people hardly ever listen to tapes. They’re usually very busy working with the acts they’ve already signed. The only folks who listen to tapes are people who work in the A&R (Artist and Repertoire) department (this is the department that signs and works directly with bands), and even they are usually too busy to do this because they go out every night of the week to see groups play live. So, if your aim is to get signed, there’s really nothing else to do besides practicing, playing and working on your live performance. Also, watch out for those organizations that run “Get a Deal” ads in music papers and magazines You know, the ones that promise they’ll get your tape listened to by A&R people at big labels-providing you pay them a bunch of money, of course. Yeah, right. Stay away from anybody who wants you to give them money up front!

    So, if making a demo won’t magically get you a recording contract, why bother with the time and expense of recording one? And, why did I put “make a demo” in my opening list of “things you have to do to get a deal?” In my opinion, there are several reasons why you should make your own tape: 1) To have something to submit to club owners and booking agents so you can actually get out there and start doing some shows. I can’t emphasize enough that getting gigs is the main function of a demo. 2) Having a well-packaged tape is a cool thing to sell at shows. It’s a way for people to take your music home with them. If someone sees your band, likes what he or she hears and decides to spend a few bucks on your tape, then the chances are pretty good that he will play it for a few friends. Hopefully, they’ll like it enough to come to your next show in the area. 3) Lots of college and local radio stations have “local talent shows” on which they play demos. You can’t ask for better exposure than having your songs played on the radio.

    Here are a few helpful pointers that will help you get the most mileage out of your demo. First, take the time to make your own insert for the cassette case-it doesn’t cost much, and in this business, first impressions are really important. Second, when you write a letter to a club owner or radio station, make sure that you use a typewriter-don’t scrawl! Sometimes I see demo tapes and I’m amazed at the haphazard way people throw them together. Finally, be sure to put your phone number on the cassette itself, not just the cover. If club owners want to book your band, they’ll know how to get in touch with you right away without having to search for the box the tape came in. Okay, enough business for today. Let’s do some playing!

    Last month, we talked about notes “rubbing” against each other-a dissonant effect I call “skronking.” This time out we’re gonna look at a few more skronks from Astro Creep 2000….The first one, FIGURE 1, is the opening to “Grease Paint and Monkey Brains.” The skronk factor here comes at the second and fourth beats of each bar, where I hit fretted notes high up the neck on the G and B strings and the open high E string at the same time (with an upstroke of my pick), and then let all three strings ring while I slowly bend the G-string note up to the same pitch of the note on the B string [unison bend-GW Ed.] I do this sort of thing quite a bit in White Zombie.

    FIGURE 2 and FIGURE 3 are both from “Electric Head Pt. 2 (The Ecstasy)” [Astro Creep 2000….Figure 2 occurs in every other bar of the chorus, and the skronking is caused by the F and E notes on the low E string “rubbing against” the ringing F# note on the D string. Figure 3 comes from the breakdown section in the middle of the song and involves the same exact skronk vibe, except this time it’s the G and the G# notes on the A string ringing against the F# note on the G string.

    For a primal skronk lesson, be sure to check out the first, self-titled, Killing Joke album! C-YA


  • Astro Ink IV ~ Your very first gig…just how close are you? (and more ugly truths)

    J Yuenger Photo Credit: http://www.lisajohnsonphoto.com/

    Before your band lands a billion-dollar record deal, makes a multi-platinum album and sells out “Enormo-dome”-sized venues, you’ll actually have to book and play gigs without any help at all from the industry (manager, booking agent or record company). Let’s take a cold, hard look at a checklist of things you have to have achieved before you get to play your very first note on a club stage:

    You’ve managed to get enough money together to buy a half-decent guitar and amp. You’ve learned how to play. Or, more importantly, you’ve learned how to play something original. You’ve somehow found three or four other people you can actually get along with, who all share the same artistic vision as you, have decent equipment and can actually play. You’ve actually managed to find a place to practice (hint: drummers always have the coolest parents-hit them up first) or are lucky enough to be able to afford to rent a rehearsal studio. You can do this pretty cheaply by sharing a space with other bands-every town has a “music building” and you can usually get a room with two or three other groups on a “lock-out” basis for next to nothing. You’ve stood in said room facing each other and figured out how to play something together. You have a set-10 or 12 songs that you can play tightly as a unit. You’ve made a demo tape that’s good enough to convince club owners that they should let you play (or you’ve rented a theater or community center so that you and your friends can put on your own shows). You’ve managed to acquire a van or some form of transportation to actually get the band and all its gear to the venue.

    That’s a pretty scary list of goals-do you think you have what it takes? Because only when you’ve accomplished all of the above are you ready to play in front of an audience for the very first time. How close are you right now? I don’t want to scare you, but it’s one of the most difficult things I can think of, and that first gig is a very distant end result. If you don’t believe in what you’re doing 100 percent, then do yourself and everyone else a favor-give up and go out and support the thousands of bands that are touring across the country right now. They need your help. Anyway, enough doom and gloom. Here are a couple of helpful hints that might help you meet your objectives.

    Thanks to modern technology like low-priced signal processors/preamps (try Korg, Zoom, SansAmp or Boss), drum machines and 4-track cassette recorders, nowadays it’s pretty easy to do your own recording at home-you don’t even necessarily have to get a band together at first. If you’re the future resident genius of your band, you can write and record everything yourself and then go into a situation with other players and just say, “Here’s a bunch of songs, learn ’em.”

    This approach may or may not work for you. Every band is different. White Zombie writes together as a unit-when it comes time for us to make a new record, we lock ourselves in a rehearsal space for eight hours a day and don’t come out until we’ve written it.

    Last month’s column ended with us looking at the octave riff from “Feed The Gods” [from the Airheads soundtrack] that sounds like a motorcycle engine revving. The riff sounds this way because of the way I bend octaves played on the D and low E strings. Because my pinkie isn’t as strong as my index finger, I tend to bend the low E-string notes slightly more than the notes on the D string. This causes the octave notes to go slightly out of tune with each other and this is what causes the weird engine-revving effect. I often refer this type of dissonant “rubbing” effect as “skronking.” Here are two other examples of “skronk” riffs, both from Astro Creep 2000…

    FIGURE 1 is the intro guitar riff to “Electric Head Pt. 1 (The Agony).” Because the whammy bar (floating bridge) kinda pulls the two strings differently, the unison E notes skronk as they’re being bent up to F with the bar. I also use a phase pedal on this part which definitely adds to the skronking effect.

    FIGURE 2 is the intro to “Blood, Milk and Sky.”

    There are a couple of skronks going on here-the ringing note on the B string at the 18th fret (F) rubs against the open high E-string note that follows it in bars 1 and 3, as does the ringing D# note at the 16th fret on the B string in bar 2. I used a Korg G4 Leslie Simulator pedal in the studio to add to the overall weirdness of these two skronks.


  • Astro Ink III ~ If at first you don’t succeed

    J Yuenger Photo Credit: http://www.lisajohnsonphoto.com/

    Last month, I suggested a number of ways you can go about finding people to play with and, hopefully, eventually form a band with.  When you start searching, don’t settle for the first people you meet, and don’t expect a miracle right away, either.  Many a time I’ve found myself standing in a room with two or three other people, and we couldn’t play even a note together.  But don’t get discouraged.  Every musician you listen to has gone through this sort of frustration.

    Doesn’t it sometimes seem like everybody who can play is already in a band?  And since that’s the case, how are you ever gonna find someone to play with?  It’s a Catch-22 situation.  I never beat it, because in the end I found a band that was already making records and touring-they just needed a new guitar player.  As I mentioned in the first column, I answered a bunch of ads, and nothing really came of it.  But that’s not to say that my experience is typical-there are a bunch of highly original bands out there that totally have their own thing that got together by answering ads they found in their local paper or music store.  Just don’t expect the first ad you answer to result in the band of your dreams.

    While you’re trying to form the perfect band, you may be confronted by choosing between, say, an average drummer or bassist who’s your friend and a really good player who’s kind of a jerk.  Who do you go with: Mr. Nice Guy or the asshole?  My advice is to go with the former.  There are two reasons for this: 1) The whole concept of a band is to grow together into something unique, and that’s not gonna happen if you’re not friends.  The only thing that’s gonna save you from going insane on a six-week van tour is your ability to get along.  Incompatibility is why most bands break up or people “leave” for no apparent reason.  Whenever you see that good ol’ “musical differences” explanation, read it as “they hate each other.” 2) There are a million four-piece guitar/bass/drums/vocals-type bands out there, so sometimes it’s better to play with people who haven’t been playing that long and don’t have a well-formed style yet.  They’ll probably be much more flexible, and this could give you a better chance of creating an original style.

    That’s enough band talk for this month; let’s finish up with a playing idea.

    Last issue, I mentioned that a cool way to spice up your rhythm work is to apply an all-out bend to a chord.  The intro riff to “Real Solution #9” on Astro Creep: 2000 shown in FIGURE 1 is a good example of what I’m talking about.  In this song I’m using a “dropped-D tuning” on a guitar that’s already tuned down a half-step from concert pitch, which means that my strings are tuned as follows: Db, Ab, Db, Gb, Bb, Eb from low to high.  A lot of people assume that I used a slide to play this riff because I used one for “More Human Than Human,” but I’m not. I’m just bending a two-note power chord.

    As you can see in FIGURE 1, I bend the C5 chord at the 10th fret up a whole step to D5.  It took me a while to master bending the low E and A strings together by exactly the same amount at the same time, but by using two fingers (my middle and “pointing” fingers) for more bending control and power, I was able to nail it almost every time.

    Another example of using string bending on more than one string to enhance an octave riff is the segue between the verse and chorus of “Feed The Gods” on the Airheads soundtrack. This is shown in FIGURE 2.

    I bend each “octave” slightly with my “pointer” finger (low-E-string notes) and my pinkie (D-string notes).  This creates a weird engine-revving effect.  Incidentally, I also play octaves in this song’s solo.  The “robot-baby crying” effect created with a wah pedal makes it sound even more like a dirt bike.  Now apply creative string-bending to your own riffs to give them that psychotic edge.  See ya.


  • Astro Ink II ~ Figuring out how to play with someone else

    J Yuenger Photo Credit: http://www.lisajohnsonphoto.com/

    So you’ve learned how to play some stuff and you’ve even written a few riffs.  Now what?  How do you play with another guitarist or bassist?  (You probably won’t find a drummer for a long time-they’re hard to come by.)  How do you even find someone to play with in the first place?  As promised at the end of last month’s column, this is gonna be our subject this time out.  I realize that some of what I’m about to tell you will probably seem painfully obvious but it’s stuff that took me a lot of trial and error and wasted energy to figure out on my own.  There are the a few fairly sure-fire ways for you to find people to play with:

    •  Put up ads in a local “mom & pop” record store where they sell cool stuff.  (Note: it goes without saying that your ad should list what bands you’re into and also state what you’re looking for.)

    •  Try to meet people who are into the same general scene at local gigs and clubs.

    •  Put an ad on your local guitar store’s bulletin board.  (Note: this is a place where you should be hanging out all the time and bugging the owners, anyway).

    •  Place an ad in a local alternative paper.

    Once you’ve found another player or two, you won’t need a wall of 100-watt Marshall stacks to practice together in somebody’s bedroom.  All you need is a small amp (like a Pignose or a mini-Marshall) and maybe a stomp box or two to customize your sound-BOSS or DOD both make pedals that are durable, good-sounding and inexpensive.  My first setup was a 10-watt Peavey Decade and a Pro-Co Rat distortion box and that worked out just fine until I was in an actual band.

    A crucial skill to learn early on is keeping time, so one of the first things I recommend you do is play along with records to get used to the feeling of playing with a drummer.  Also, nowadays you can buy an electronic metronome for about 30 bucks and that’s all you need to help you keep your jams solid-you don’t need a fancy, state-of-the-art drum machine.

    Playing in tune together is also important.  Bottom-of-the-line tuners by KORG or BOSS will work just fine.  Actually, it’s kinda funny me saying this because I wasn’t able to afford a tuner until I’d been in White Zombie for a while.  I used to just find “E” on records and then go from there.  But nowadays, bands are using so many different tunings you can’t really do that!  It’s obviously not that important to have a tuner when you’re playing by yourself, but as soon as you start playing with someone else you definitely have to have one.

    Aside from a little amp, a tuner, a metronome (maybe) and your guitar-the initial stuff you’re gonna want to have in your gig bag when you play with someone else is a cable, an extra pack of strings (you’re definitely going to be breaking them) and a couple of extra picks because you’ll always lose them.  And, if making noise is a problem in your house, it’s not hard to figure out a way to jam using headphones.  Try plugging into your stereo.

    Talking of making noise: there’s a good chance that your school will let you and your friends jam together in the music-room after class.  I used to do that all the time, because it was the only place I got to turn up loud when I first started out and hadn’t gotten a band together or found a place to practice.

    One other thing: if you find someone to play with and you live far away from each other or you don’t have much time to actually practice together, you can always trade tapes of ideas and work together that way.  When I was in Japan I saw something that really tripped me out: in Tokyo they have this park where all the rock kids go every Sunday.  Because they all spend so much time in school, Sunday is the only chance they get to talk to each other.  Once a week, all these kids from opposite ends of the city turn up at the park with their gig bags, a battery pack and a four-track.  Then, they record guitar parts on each other’s tapes so they can take it home for the week, study it and write songs “together.” It’s a really bizarre sight to behold, but totally cool at the same time.

    And now for this month’s playing tip…..

    One very cool thing to do to spice up your rhythm playing that a lot of people don’ t think of is to apply vibrato or all-out bend to chords.  It makes your rhythm parts sound much more psychotic.  You can hear me doing this in “Spiderbaby (Yeah-Yeah-Yeah)” [La Sexorcisto: Devil Music Volume 1] as shown in Figure 1.

    It almost sounds like some twisted old blues riff-and it’s one of my favorite moments on that album.  It’s a very simple thing to do, basically I’m just shaking the shit out of the strings the whole time.


  • Astro Ink I ~ The truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth

    J Yuenger Photo Credit: http://www.lisajohnsonphoto.com/

    If you’re expecting a typical instructional column from me, then prepare yourself for a shock.  Since very little about being in a band actually involves playing the guitar, I therefore thought it was time for a columnist to address some real-world band issues rather than the usual “what Mixolydian mode goes over which chord best.”  Before anyone panics, let me add that I will conclude every one of my columns by quickly touching on a playing idea or two.
    After almost every White Zombie show, there’s some guitar geek like me – the type of guy who spends the entire show hanging out directly in front of the guitar player, trying to see what pedals he’s using – who’ll ask “How did you get into this band?”  Well, to make a long story short…I started playing guitar because I thought bands were really cool and I wanted to be in one – not to become a “guitar hero.”  When I was young, I always liked groups who gave the impression of being a unique gang-like the Cramps and the Ramones, who looked like horror movie creatures that all came from the same planet.  Once I decided I wanted to be in a band, I had to start completely from scratch ’cause there was no one to teach me how to do anything the right way.  Even now, I don’t profess to be an expert about it since every band works differently and I’ve learned pretty much everything I know the hard way.  Still, maybe I can give you a head start on knowing what to expect from the day you start wanting to be in a band.

    Like a lot of people, I found that I couldn’t get anything going in my hometown so I decided to take the plunge and move to New York.  As soon as I arrived I answered a bunch of “guitarist wanted” ads-but none of ’em came to anything.  I suffered through a never-ending succession of failed encounters which repeatedly led me to give up, only to try again a week later.

    After a year and a half of sheer frustration, my luck changed.  One day, Rob Zombie was browsing in a comic book store, and the clerk asked him what was going on.  Rob replied, “Our guitar player just quit, I gotta start thinking about getting a new one.”  The clerk said, “I know somebody…” and gave him the guitarist’s number.

    I was that “somebody” and I wound up joining White Zombie.  At the time, they were already pretty well-established in New York and I was incredibly psyched to be in a real cool band, one that I’d often seen play and always admired.  As soon as I met ’em they asked if I would quit my job to tour, and I said, “Of course.” I was so happy that I would have cut off my right arm if they’d asked. I gave up my job-a real cushy one, I might add-without a second thought.  Our first show on that tour was in Pittsburgh, where we played to five people.  Things gradually got better, although that first show was pretty disheartening. Soon we went to Europe, which was amazing: we were well-fed and housed in hotels and played to good crowds every night.  I started thinking, “Wow! This is really working.”  Then reality hit: the tour finished and I found myself standing in New York’s JFK Airport, jobless, homeless and wondering what the hell I was going to do next.

    I ended up moving to our basement rehearsal space in Brooklyn.  The place was tiny and full of thumb-sized flying mutant roaches that would land on me while I slept-in the drum riser.  Everything I owned was stored in boxes by my stack.  I did this for months on end; I didn’t really have a choice.

    I finally managed to land a job on Manhattan’s Lower East Side delivering pizza.  I was riding around on this big cast-iron bicycle that had been around since the Forties.  My deliveries took me to some interesting locales, including Avenue D (hell); during the course of the job I got to look down the barrel of a gun twice.  It sucked! (Note: Getting and holding on to a job when you’re in a band that’s trying to make it is tough. I’ll discuss this “do I eat or play in my band” dilemma in a later column.)

    Lots of people believe that successful bands signed their contracts a few months after they formed and instantly began making millions of dollars.  (Remember kids, when a record company gives you money, it’s only a loan.  They expect it back.  More about the grim realities of the industry in future columns.)  People don’t realize that most bands have to endure five to 10 years of starving, sleeping in the back of a beat-up van in the middle of winter and carrying Ampeg 8×10″ bass cabinets up and down wooden stairs in the snow at two in the morning before they get their first real paycheck.

    Few are aware of just how much blood and sweat bands invest in their careers, and how much harder than a regular job their work is because there’s no one there to tell you what to do and how to do it.  There’s no guaranteed paycheck at the end of every week, either; it’s like being self-employed with no way of knowing whether or not you’re doing the right thing.  The only thing that keeps people going is blind faith.  There are no guarantees of success, no matter how hard you work.

    All of this sounds a bit grim, I know.  But if you want to “go for it,” if you want to be in a band, you should be aware of the grim side.  Which isn’t to say that it’s the wrong thing to do.  After all, you should at least try to be cool while you’re young, right?  Even when I was living in that basement in Brooklyn trying to scrounge together change for a cup of coffee and a packet of Ramen noodles, I never regretted leaving my hometown, where all my friends were still sitting on a couch, smoking dope, listening to records and going, “Maybe someday I’ll form a band.”  I was proud and happy to be doing what I was doing-mutant roaches or no!

    Next month we’ll go back to the very beginning and talk about finding people to jam with.  Now, let’s get to the lesson part of the column, and do a little playing.


    People are always asking me about what I call “the chicken chord” in “Electric Head, Part 2” Astro Creep 2000…. The chord I’m referring to is shown in Figure 1 and it appears in the riff shown in Figure 2.

    My philosophy on coming up with wacky chords is this: you can take your hand, put your fingers anywhere on the fretboard and the chord you make can be used for something, somewhere.  That’s what’s so cool about the guitar.

    The same thing goes for gear, too: you might have this really shitty guitar or amp lying around vegetating, but if you’re making a record, there’s probably a place on it where that one terrible sound will actually be cool!  So try and hang on to all the gear you accumulate.  Even the crappiest bit will come in handy one way or another-take my word for it.

    When I mess around at home, I come up with all sorts of weird stuff, so I end up having a backlog of ideas and whacked-out chords.  When the band gets together and something starts developing, I have a pool to draw from.  I came up with the “chicken chord” when I was feeling around for weird chords the night before we wrote that part.

    I just inserted that chord to make the riff sound more ominous.  Many of the cool riffs I’ve used have come about in a similar fashion.  I can remember figuring out one day that instead of playing the “Hendrix chord” [Figure 3], I could just play the bottom of an E chord [Figure 4] and the top of a G chord [Figure 5] together , which is how I came up with the “Thunder Kiss” chorus riff [Figure 6].

    Apart from maintaining a backlog of weird ideas in your head, you should tape everything you do-always.  A cheap Walkman with a mic is fine and, if you don’t have a guitar around at the time, record yourself humming it.  Unless you’re the genius-type who remembers everything, you have to tape even your simplest ideas to remember them the next day.

    Think how often you’ve sat in school, at work or in a car and thought of the most perfect riff in the world.  And, because this riff was so incredibly simple and obvious, you knew you wouldn’t ever forget it.  Of course, by the time you got home, it had fallen out of your head.  You felt sick because you knew you’d lost your “Immigrant Song” or “Satisfaction” forever. If only you’d had that cheap tape recorder handy…