• Tag Archives Texas

  • “Stupidity, like virtue, is its own reward.” Bill Davidsen

    Posted on by The Thousand Yard Stare Comment

    Since I’ve been pretty busy I haven’t had time to update with a lot of things that have been on my mind so I’ll cheat and tell you about another brush with the law.

    It was about 1993 or so, I was taking my girlfriend and her friend (and her friend’s baby) to Austin.  We were going out 290 (why 290? Well, see, both my ex-girlfriend and her friend were total bitches, so they gave me an approximate destination and I started driving toward it.)  We were speeding rather excessively since I really didn’t know where I was going, and I came over the crest of the hill probably doing 95 miles an hour. (I’m guessing it was a 65 or 70 mph zone). So here I am in my light blue 1991 Acura Integra, speeding like a madman, and immediately I see a cop and he flashes his lights and starts tailing.

    Up until that point, I don’t think I’d ever been pulled over for speeding. I was a pretty safe/sneaky driver.  That and I had a decent Cobra radar detector.

    So, the cop walks up to the car, and says, “Is there a reason you were going so fast?”

    Here’s the part I can’t believe. In my impatience, and frustration at these women I say, “Because I was in a hurry!”

    Peripherally I can see my girlfriend’s eyes getting big, and from the back I can almost hear her friend’s eyes popping out of their sockets.

    “License and Insurance please”

    I hand both to the police officer, he walks away, and it’s dead silent.

    I have a very, very deep sinking feeling that I’m in trouble.

    The officer walks back to the car, hands me my license and says, “You need to slow down and be more careful……..and put that baby in a baby seat too.”

    I stutter, “Yes sir officer”.

    And off he went.

    Now, I’m not sure exactly what happened. The picture on my license is the same as it was below (priestly) and I had totally forgotten about it.

    My girlfriend was flabbergasted. That’s the only word I can use. They’re both like, “How the hell did you get away with that??”

    I showed them the license and they were appropriately astonished and amused.

    I think I’ve only got one more good “get out of jail” story. I’ll save that one until next time.


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  • “You’re suffering from hardening of the orthodoxies.” ~ Camden Benares

    Posted on by The Thousand Yard Stare 4 Comments

    Today a friend of mine inadvertently offended some white people. Well, white person anyway.  In a very small, limited way I can understand where they were coming from. (This with a guess that they’ve never seen “Stuff white people like” either). She posted the below picture on Facebook and someone took offense.  To me the picture seems as any other ha-ha internet picture does. Good for a chuckle…..then it’s time to move on.

    Despite the fact that I think only a small percentage of anything you find on the internet should be taken seriously, I forget sometimes how sensitive people are to the dumbest stuff.  A good example would be this really cool patch that I got for one of my jackets:

    What’s not to love, right? As someone who loves religion as pop-art and lowbrow culture (neither of which I take too seriously), I was quickly reminded that I live in the South. The South where some people are fanatically religious and could cause me verifiable harm. Some people take that religion stuff really REALLY seriously.

    I’ve had way less issues with people than I used to. I used to wear my priest collar out in public just for the hell of it, and I think people were generally too shocked to beat the crap out of me.

    I think sometimes shock value is good. Sometimes it initiates change. Obviously my friend won’t be posting any Nutella pics referencing white people, but that change has debatable value.  Although, since I’m white could I have posted the picture without recrimination? What’s the impact there? Can I go hang out at IKEA and lure white people into a van with Nutella? (Did I just define IKEA as whitebread? Of course not, everyone shops there.)

    One of man’s most admirable traits is the ability to laugh at one’s self.

    Too bad people forget to do that often.


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