Well, I made the sprint home since it was still daylight, and the zombies don’t come out until after dark (obviously).
Some random statistics (all approximated as I did not have an official statistician onboard).
Miles driven: 1200 (give or take a few hundred)
Hours in the vehicle: 22
Days out: 2
Average amount of time excessively above the speed limit: 80%
Number of times I wished I would be ticketed for going 20 miles over the speed limit (as to be fired instantly from my job): 5
Number of times I intentionally sped 20 miles over the speed limit: 2
Chance of someone checking the satellite log on the vehicle to scope how fast I was speeding: 0 (give or take 10% – we just upgraded the system)
Chance of me losing my job if someone does check the log: 50%
Number of bugs splattered on the windshield: 45 (give or take)
Number of times I attempted to use the onboard wipers and misting to clear said bugs: 4
Number of times this cleaned anything: 0
Number of law enforcement vehicles seen during entire trip: 15
Number of times I was nearly run off the road: 1
Number of Poppyseed Kolaches consumed: 2 (it would have been four – lesson learned is if there is a bus parked next to the czech stop, don’t bother stopping)
Number of times I thought about sex: Every seven seconds. See?
Number of CD’s I had with me: 8
Number of times I listened to Imelda May: 8
Number of times I listened to Brian Setzer Orchestra: 12
Number of times I listened to American Idiot: 47 (approximate)
Number of times I wished that my Chris Isaak CD case wasn’t empty (where IS that disc?): 7
Number of Home Depot/McDonalds/KFC/Burger King/Lowes/Designer Outlet complexes passed during the trip: Uncountable. More fuel for my theory that I could go to Iowa, and it will look just like Texas.
Number of BBQ joints passed: 13
Number of times I got odd looks because I was singing along with a CD: 4
Number of times that I said “God-Dammit” because someone was going slow in front of me: 17
Number of times I believed in “God”: 0
Number of haircuts: 1
Number of times regretting getting a haircut: 3
Main thing learned from this trip:
DO BILLBOARDS WORK? JUST DID!!!
I think that’s about all I’ve got.
I’m pretty tired now.
“fuel for my theory that I could go to Iowa, and it will look just like Texas.”
If you stick to the interstate, you can go just about anywhere in America and have it look just like anywhere else. From experience.
Yeah, I forgot you did that.
I got so sick of thinking about all the fast food grease – every time I would pass a burger king/mcdonald’s etc, I’d get queasy.
Ick.