• Tag Archives Work
  • “The first rule of grifting is, you can’t cheat an honest man.” ~ Hustle

    A friend mentioned the other day that I don’t talk to her the way that she has heard me talk to customers by phone. 99% of my work is phone based and occasionally I “bring my work home with me” when it’s more convenient to call from the house (rather than drive all the way to the office for one phone call). I thought about what she said and it’s definitely true. When I’m asking a customer (a retail store employee) to do something, I’m trying to be as persuasive as possible. The dynamic range of my voice becomes wider, I stay in the higher part of the range, I’m enthusiastically upbeat…..

    Is that me in my day-to-day? Certainly not. If I started talking that way around the house, or even out at the burlesque shows,  it would sound phony. I’m sure it sounds somewhat phony when I call the stores too – but once they’re in that conversation, I use mah werds to reel them in and make them work for me. Does it always work? No way, I’m not THAT good. I’ve taken some difficult situations and talked people “off the ledge” and got some work out of them.  I gauge their interest in helping me and change strategies if needed.  In some ways, I guess I’m kind of a “closer”. When all else fails, they send me in to assess the situation, clean up the damage and make everybody happy. Watch the video below, when they’re talking about degrees of intensity, it’s a great example of changing your approach. Also, Don LaFontaine is a funny dude. Apparently he’ll record answering machine messages. *HERO*


  • “There are men in town who could play this role. The problem is, they didn’t audition!” YT Blair Bybee

    So this blog has been going on for a while now and I’ve tried to keep from writing too much about the day to day minutae around here. Nobody wants to read the reality show transcript of my life, which holds very little interest to anyone, including me.

    This does have the effect of limiting the amount of posts that are written as I try to write when something odd or unusual occurs. Having a full time job also cuts into the creative time that was previously spent writing. “I’m bored, what should I do? Write a blog post!”

    My “filler” pages help boost my ego. The ever-evolving “So You Wanna Join A Band” gets a lot of hits. My guitar…..ahem…..collection manages to get some surf too. Having conciously set up this as a destination for those items rather than focus on my writing helps lessen the self-imposed writing pressure. As a not-for-profit venture it succeeds fairly well.

    * My website dfwburlesque.com is about to celebrate a one-year anniversary. I wouldn’t have noticed, but I had to renew the hosting. I’ve been told I should throw a party, but seeing as how my time has lessened in actually going to the shows I can let it pass uneventfully. Possibly a “Happy Birthday” Facebook status update will be in order?

    * I definitely have things that I could write about that occur at work. Unfortunately, I haven’t come up with a good way to filter it so that should I be googled (successfully) that they couldn’t misconstrue whatever I’m writing about.

    * The music room is an absolute wreck right now. I’m okay with it, for the most part. The reason it’s a wreck is that it’s full of other “works in progress” for the rest of the house. The main bathroom is nearly done (crossing fingers that I can get it done this weekend). However I really need to get it back in shape so that I have somewhere to hide and practice guitar without bothering anyone. My intention is to get my daughter bass lessons – and hopefully take some lessons from this same teacher as well. We stopped by a shop and my playing was so rusty even I was embarrased. I’ve got one major song to get written and a few others rattling around. Recording music is not the time to be practicing however, it just makes recording take ten times longer.

    * I’m in the market for an entertainment center. Already found some modern/retro stuff that I really like, but as always, what I really like and what really makes sense for the room are two different things.

    * One of my oldest friends (old as in how long I’ve known him, not that he’s elderly) wrote and self published his own Role Playing Game with his wife called Mana Punk. Color me suitably impressed. I purchased it and downloaded, but honestly haven’t had the time to read it. Reading is a luxury that is mostly confined to my…err…..bathroom. While I approve of gaming as a social activity, I just don’t have the energy for it right now. My daughter has expressed an interest in LARPing, so I’ve got that going for me. Which is nice.

    My first exposure to RPG’s was back in Mrs Kreig’s class in fifth or sixth grade. Chris Durbin and a few other people were sitting at the table in the corner and doing something. Now I assume they were making characters. I joined them but really I was just drawing rooms on graph paper and throwing implausible things that didn’t fit because I didn’t know the system. Me: Here’s a pit of spikes. Them: That’s not where that goes. I think this is the same table that debated whether or not checkerboard Vans were introduced to popular culture via Sean “Spicoli” Penn in Fast Times at Ridgemont High or via Eddie Van Halen. Ahh youth.

    Right before I moved to New Zealand, I played the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Roleplaying game with the aforementioned eldest friend. Eldest? Nevermind. It had a lot less to do with TMNT than it did the idea of talking animals and post-apocolyptic imagery. In New Zealand, I somehow roped my next door neighbor into playing and we did that off and on my entire time there. I would spend hours poring over a character creation.  Looking at the below image, it’s no wonder that I’m drawn (ha!) to a bold outline cartoon style ala Vince Ray or Coop now. Thank you Eastman and Laird!

    After returning to the US, I began playing Advanced Dungeons and Dragons with some of the people that I worked with at The Company Onstage. Hank McNally was our illustrious DM and we had quite a contentious group (including my above friend’s brother). I think more time was spent with player drama than anything else, but it was a lot of fun and a great time killer. It was somewhere around this time that I started loving Autoduel/Car Wars and Shadowrun and especially Paranoia. God what a fun game. Paranoia was the only game I know of where you were given clones, and the “winner” was the person who managed to outlast the other player’s seven clones. Many MANY entertaining and interesting ways to die. (Was I the ONLY person who later bought the Shadowrun game for the Sega Genesis? What a great game.)

    * I still regret not buying the game Alternate Reality for the Macintosh when we were visiting Seattle. My dad said, “We’ll find it at discount somewhere” but we never did.

    Ending this post with a whimper rather than a bang (or even a strong finish)


  • “How many people make themselves abstract to appear profound. The most useful part of abstract terms are the shadows they create to hide a vacuum.” Joseph Joubert

    I wish I had something interesting to report.

    Things are kind of slow when my daughter isn’t around, and my green hair only entertains me so much. I hear from my lawyer that I will need to go back to blonde before the probate hearing. Yay me. Then it’s back to green.

    Being unemployed is a little surreal. It will be good to go back to school, giving me a daily goal (wake up, go to school, repeat).

    I’m using a book that teaches fretboard logic – and it’s working very well for me. I’m really happy with it.

    Picked up a ton of $2 bills at the bank today. I wiped them out. Why? Why not? It’s legal US currency – it’s time to reintroduce it into circulation. C’mon people! Do your part!

    Going to have a parent/teacher conference tamale. Little one made “student of the hour” last week – of which I am extremely proud. The things you do for your kids…..

    She’s enjoying the whole process which is awesome. This is exactly what she needed. I can enthusiastically endorse Sylvan Learning Center.

    Am considering doing the P90X program – my insurance agent/guitar teacher does it and he loves it.

    I’m trying to use every Category that I have…..here we go – I’m close.

    Installed a new toilet the other day – life is so much better with a new toilet. Don’t underestimate the power of a new toilet.

    Speaking of humor….just kidding. I honestly have had more conversations with this hair than I can count. People say the oddest things. Which is great, because it’s sharpening my response skills.

    “Which came first, the chicken? Or the egg?”


  • “I shot the sheriff” Bob Marley

    Not sure why Sunday has turned into such a peaceful day….

    It used to be because most of our customers were least busy, so I would get the least amount of phone calls. I was jolted earlier today when I thought, “Where is my work phone?”. In some ways, I’m still getting out of “work mode” – in other ways, I’m way, way gone.

    Right now it’s quiet, the TV is off, my daughter is still asleep – I’m thinking about pattern one scales in the way that this one book is telling me…..and wanting to write a song.

    There was a police officer across the street – and knowing my neighbors are out of town, I went to see if everything was ok. Everything was fine – including the officer. *wink-wink-nudge-nudge*. I could have easily crossed over in our tiny insignificant conversation and asked for her number, but I passed that tipping point where it felt natural, and just let it go.

    Also, I never feel comfortable doing that kind of thing when my daughter is within say, 500 feet?

    Sunday is supposed to be a religious day. I was definitely thinking about the big “R” the other day when someone asked me if I used to be a priest.

    These days, I consider myself a non-theist. I’m a practicing non-theist. LOL.

    Atheism, to me, prescribes a kind of knee-jerk reaction to whatever religion is being presented.

    The only god I pray to is the porcelain kind – and speaking of which: I was replacing the wax seal (again) because I undertightened the bolts on the toilet, and ended up breaking it (the toilet). Bummer. My new one is in route to get here in the next hour or so – then I can install it. I’ll be kind of glad since I’ve been meaning to replace the disgusting seat that’s been on there since we moved in.

    I gave my first guitar lesson on Friday – and I think it went well. I don’t know how the student thought it went, but overall we covered some things, and started down the path.


  • “Babies don’t need a vacation but I still see them at the beach. I’ll go over to them and say, ‘What are you doing here, you’ve never worked a day in your life!’.” Stephen Wright

    I’ve been a pretty busy dude.

    Obviously.

    Friday was my last day at work (have already covered that).

    Didn’t really feel like doing anything, but drove out to Houston on Saturday. Monica and I stopped at Mai’s for food – and picked up some for Tam and Chelsea. My daughter ate steak at the Hilton – where I managed to get them a room for the night after the Green Day concert. I think I tried to eat fish the entire weekend. Went to the show –

    which was obviously cool. They blew ticker tape all over the place – it had skulls on it. I think I just washed the few pieces I had. Or I dropped them – I don’t remember. my kid got some, which is really what matters. I got Terry a Green Day sticker (per request) and got a shirt for the kiddo. She loved it.

    Drove to Galveston on Sunday – had a lot of fun. We went to Seawolf Park which was pretty much decimated by the last hurricane. It was all dirt. I got pretty pink in the 20 or 30 minutes we were out uncovered. Got some great pictures in the submarine – but didn’t get to go into the conning tower. Used to be able to look through the periscope when I was a kid. 🙁

    Walked on the beach (2 miles) at night which was really, really cool. Got a lot of exercise walking, but picked up about four pounds over the weekend. 🙁 Since it’s mostly beer, I suspect I’ll lose it by the end of next week. Time to start drinking a lot of water – and quit eating food after seven pm!

    Great news! On the way back from H-town, I decided to tempt fate and contact my GI guy (not the GI Joe guy, the General Internist or whatever he is) and they said that I had “allergic espohatitis“. That’s good – it’s not cancerous. I now have an inhaler that I have to use for the next 6 or 8 weeks – and then we’ll go from there. I will surely laugh at the prospect that it may be coffee that I’m allergic to.

    Got back and then I REALLY got busy. I shipped the IC300 out to be painted, and got some hair bleach at Hot Topic, went to Sally’s Beauty Supply and picked up some Green Manic Panic. Stage One:

    Being unemployed is so freaking cool. (Until the bills roll in……)

    I also picked up some music books and a music stand – getting ready for LESSON # 1!

    LOL.


  • “The world, dear Agnes, is a strange affair.” Moliere

    Wow.

    Today was my last day of work. They held a great little luncheon for me, and I cracked jokes pretty much the entire time, probably to try and convince myself that I’m not nervous about the leap I’m taking. Oddly enough, we had some conversations about my age. Apparently pretty much everyone there thought I was in my mid-forties – and were very surprised that I’m not. LOL.

    After it was all over, I came home and passed out for four hours. It honestly was pretty emotionally draining. After spending five long harrowing years pouring blood and sweat into this job – I walked away.

    Some people kept saying, “It’s going to be impossible to fill your shoes”. I don’t truly believe that’s the case, I think there will be a relatively natural evolution that will occur. It will just be different (for them). I didn’t expect the place to go up in flames without me at all. It remained standing as I slowly pulled myself away over this last few….uh…er…..weeks. Ha!

    In other news:

    * I went to a golf driving range last night. The twist? All the balls were RFID’d and you had a monitor next to you that would track how far and how accurately you hit the ball. Since I haven’t golfed in 25 years (pretty close to not ever golfing) it was pretty rough for the first 60 balls. I finally got my swing in a little bit and managed to hit 4 out of 5 balls (in a row) pretty much where I wanted them to go. It was a lot of fun and there were lots of cute girls there too. Apparently driving ranges are the new meat market! Beer helps too…..except when my brother is bellowing “You suck BALLS???”. It was funny though.

    * I’m having my Ibanez custom painted to look like a White Zombie model that’s no longer in production. I’ve owned a guitar with a floyd rose, and I’ve never been truly excited about getting another one with a Floyd, so I might as well get my cheap stop tail painted custom and save myself $3000.

    The guy that is doing it is pretty excited about it – so am I. I’ve been posting on every guitar forum that I’m looking for one – no go. They’re HARD to find. I even e-mailed Jay Yuenger – since it’s his signature model – to see if he had one, but he didn’t have one to sell! I’m mailing the body off next week – crossing my fingers that all goes well.

    * Green Day is tomorrow. I begin the trek down to Houston tomorrow morning some time. The way that I feel RIGHT NOW is that I’m so worn from this last two weeks, I almost want to crawl into bed for a week or two and not get out. I’m sure I’ll feel differently tomorrow morning, but I’m still mentally a blob right now. We’re going to go to Mai’s for some spring rolls (yay for Mai’s!!) and then hit the show. Heading for Galveston on Sunday, and will be spending the night. Mini-vacation if you will. Coming back Monday to see if anyone tried to test out my Brinks alarm system.

    * One of my former employees is interested in learning guitar (zero experience) so I’m going to use this as an opportunity to try my skills at teaching guitar, which is one thing I’m pretty interested in doing. Being interested in it and doing it are two separate things, so we’ll see how this works out. Should be pretty fun.


  • “It’s all fun and games, until someone looses an eye…than it’s fun and games you can’t see anymore.” James Hetfield

    The week is slowly, slowly crawling toward Friday. Not only the end of the week, but the end of my illustrious career at my current employment.

    In talking to one of my employees today, I was invited to a “midget wrestling match” in the next few weeks.

    I agreed – but somehow the “PC” person inside me is thinking, “Whhhhaaaaatttt???”

    All in all, I need to be trying new things – this one should be a doozy!


  • “Some fellows get credit for being conservative when they are only stupid” Kin Hubbard

    I’m pretty excited.

    I talked to someone else at the school and they think that my credits from (a long, long, long) long time ago will still apply which may mean that I’m still a sophomore. I am totally excited that this may be the case – which may mean that I’ve only got about 12 hours for an Associate of Arts, that I’ll transfer to UTA and “make something of myself”.

    Still pretty freaking excited.

    Can’t wait to quit work too. 😉


  • “Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit” George Carlin

    They always say, “Never quit while you’re ahead”. Oddly enough, I never hear a corresponding statement for any other occasion. So, henceforth, forthwith, I shall now say, “Never quit while you’re ahead, but get the hell out when you’re behind”.

    As I inch my way toward my impending resignation…….

    Oh.

    Did I not mention?

    I’m giving my two weeks notice on Monday. My last day will be August 7th, the day right before the Green Day concert. I’ve considering going blonde – then lime green for the show, but that might be a little much for a senior as advanced in age as I am. That and I don’t want to “flame out” like I normally do on these work ending occasions. Usually I’ll end up burning some bridges – but this time I think not.

    What will I do with myself? Going Back to School as it were…..

    Can’t find anything else worthwhile to do, so I might as well get an edumacation (again). Maybe I’ll get one of those degrees this time.

    So….I’m thinking this will be pretty much like any other job ending that I’ve had….with the exception that i’ll still have to come up with child support each month. D’OH!

    Have to take a math placement test tomorrow – by the time I get a degree there should be jobs available again. LOL.


  • “Being kissed is an occupational hazard of police work.” Jack Morgan

    It’s because I’m white, isn’t it?

    Louis CK has a great bit about being white, and he hit it dead on.

    I got pulled over today by a Coppell police officer. Speeding? Check. Talking on the cell phone while speeding? Check.

    Respectfully, I told the truth, that I, “Really didn’t have a good reason to be speeding”. (Not like when I got pulled over in 1995, with a baby* not in a car seat, speeding, with a priest license and got smart with the cop, “Because I was in a hurry?” – and I still got let off then too)

    He asks me what I do, and I tell him, then he lets me go with a warning.

    Now……I’ve heard……..that it’s pretty rare that you’ll be let off in Coppell.

    I am one lucky (white) sunofdabitch.

    It’s also a good thing that I was in the work Honda Element and not my car.

    If it had been my car? Ticket for sure.

    Tomorrow I get Lo-Jack installed, and I can momentarily stop stressing out about leaving my car anywhere for extended periods of time.

    And because it’s such a great bit:

    * Edit * I just noticed a total continuity error during his last line. Obviously filmed more than once…….See if you can catch it!

    *not mine by the way