My newly teen daughter is now traversing the neighborhood with her friends.
As the debate rages on as to if society these days is just more dangerous (or if we’re just more paranoid) or if the good ole days were more innocent and carefree (possibly), I have to come to terms with the fact that my daughter is ultimately more mobile than ever.
Of course, my parenting style is infused with my own life experiences – such as walking around the neighborhood of my youth against my parents wishes.
My earliest trips “out” were with my friend – we would walk down to Cunningham Pharmacy (in Houston). Past the Goony Golf, past the Library, down West Belfort, to the corner of South Post Oak. This is prior to the Kroger-plex that exists now. Just south down South Post Oak (at the time) was the AJ Foyt Dealership. Belden’s was also on that corner next to the Pharmacy. This was Belden’s first location, prior to moving to Braeswood square, where it currently resides. Can’t find pics right now, but I’m sure they exist.
Anyway, the reason that we would walk to this particular pharmacy was because they had the BEST candy selection. Seriously. Tiny candy coffins witch candy skeletons that went together like a puzzle, Gatorgum, and my first exposure to Big League Chew. Obviously, no kid could get enough of BLC, since it was impossible not to stick the whole bubblegum pouch into your mouth and strain your drooling jaws into submission.
But, I was a candy addict, and Cunningham Pharmacy had the candy fix I needed. I also ended up picking up a lot of Puggles and Smurfs there as well. My Puggles were a little more masculine……..uh……..scratch that. They weren’t masculine at all. What was I thinking?
Anyway, I also then think about the early trips that I took to Westwood Mall that were EXPRESSLY forbidden by my parents – that I did anyway.
So, I have to consider that my daughter will do things that I won’t like, but at least she’s got a cell phone (which did not exist in my life in the late 70’s/early 80’s) and is – so far – willing to text me her location when she’s walking around.
It will have to do, I suppose.
I so love that I can let my kids wander the neighborhood while we’re living here in Senegal, and I lament the fact that I’ll have to keep them more cooped up when we go home. They’re going to miss it, too, I’m sure. I think they both love the independence and I also think they are learning things that they just would not learn in the US…just by the fact that they are out, wandering from friend’s house to friend’s house, observing lots of different stuff. I always wanted this for my kids and I don’t feel like they can have it back in MI. If I do let them wander, I risk being called a negligent parent.
“I risk being called a negligent parent” – which is exactly what I would define my mother as, even back in the 70’s. There’s a difference between knowing where your kids are (or are supposed to be) and just letting them run wild – which we did. I’m glad your kids are experiencing that, although that whole power situation has got to be driving them crazy.
I remember as a kid, at about the age of 9 or 10, it was a rite of passage to take a walk through the neighborhood, down to the local 7-11 where I too, would get a candy fix. We would do this alone, without any siblings or friends. I look back on this now and think that maybe there may have been a bit of negligence on the part of my parents for doing this. I certainly would not allow my kids to do the same at that age. With that said, I look at that experience with fondness. I felt independent and brave. Since my little ones are so young yet, I can only wonder how my own parenting skills will develop and what that will mean in terms of their own independence and freedom.
Well, parenting skills are surprisingly based on your own life experiences, tempered with a more reality based approach based on how things are these days. 🙂
I’ve found everything to be a best-guess – you could spend eternity wondering about the ramifications of every decision.