Strike One: Renting a movie with Robin Williams in it.
Strike Two: Renting a PG-13 movie about young couples in love
Strike Three: Tearing up at the beach wedding.
WHAT’S WRONG WITH ME??????????
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“Quit while you’re ahead” Proverb quotes
Ahh….sorry.
The learning might have to wait until another day.
A day far, far, far, far at the bottom of my Netflix queue.
I’m by no means a “hater”. I just ….uh….have to wash my hair….or something.
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“You know, all writers are vampires and … they’ll look around and they watch you when you’re not even thinking they’re watching you and they’ll slip stuff in.” James Gandolfini
There were a few useful things that I learned today. Thanks to the movie Twilight, I’ve learned what I have been doing wrong all these years in order to attract women.
Number 1: Pretend the woman stinks – cover your nose, avoid her, disappear for a few days. This is the “reverse psychology” ploy. Not only will she not take offense, but she will actively pursue you!
“Why doesn’t he like me? He’s so mysterious!”
Number 2: Wear contacts that change your eye color. Women like being confused and nothing confuses them more than your eye color.
“Why doesn’t he like me? Weren’t his eyes blue? He’s so mysterious!”
Number 3: Wear full body glitter in daylight. Sure, you look like you escaped from an all night rave (or strip club), but women love the glitter.
“He’s so sparkly! He’s so mysterious!”
Number 4: I learned that women are very accepting when it comes to love.
“I don’t care that you murdered people and drank their blood, it just makes me love you more. You’re so mysterious!”
Number 5: Corny lines work!
“Wow! I’m, like, his own personal heroin!” and “He called me a spider-monkey! I LOVE him!!”
Number 6: Anything seems much more romantic when Clair De Lune is playing in the background
“Is he about to kiss me? OHMIGOD WE’RE JUMPING OUT THE WINDOW!!!!!!”
Number 7: Appearing in a woman’s room unannounced is SEXY! And not at all STRANGE OR STALKER-ISH!!
“How the hell did you get IN here!!?!? You’re so mysterious!”
I’m not to the end of the movie yet – so I may learn more.
I’ll keep everyone updated.
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“I just go where the guitar takes me.” Angus Young
What’s missing from this picture? Besides an amplifier?
ME!!
Just kidding. I managed to mangle my hands around one of the necks of those puppies tonight.
“Enough procrastinating”, I said.
Now what am I doing?
Posting to WordPress.
*sigh*
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“A vacuum is a hell of a lot better than some of the stuff that nature replaces it with.” Tennessee Williams
Ode to the dyson vacuum cleaner.
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“When sorrows come, they come not single spies, but in battalions!” – William Shakespeare
So, I fully realize that my weekend was a full “crash and burn”. I’m still making my way down grief lane, with some stops at pity and loathing circle.
I tried to go to work today, lasted about five minutes, and then left. I talked to Ross, and we discussed the “happenings” and it’s still been so recent that I’m still processing a lot.
Pictured above is my third espresso for the day.
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“You can puke yourself to death on this stuff. One girl threw up her own pelvis. What a fucking disgrace.” – Bernard Manning
Ahh, I’m almost thinking I shouldn’t be allowed out of the house.
In order to recover from my hangover, I went to eat a chicken fried steak. Of course, CFS makes you thirsty….so..
Okay, well, suffice it to say that things got a little out of hand, and I spent five early morning hours sprawled out in my ex-father in law’s walk in bathroom this morning – alternately surfing the porcelain browser and passing out.
I slept for pretty much the remainder of the day – now I’m awake and I’m hungry.
Maybe some chicken fried steak……
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“Slaying sacred cows makes great steaks.” – Dick Nicolosi
I am pretty freaking hungry right now. I haven’t done much today except recover from my hangover – which should be noted in some cultures is achievement enough.
Feeling like getting a steak, but I’m stymied by the fact that I don’t want to go get a steak by myself.
It’s not that being alone is an issue, that hasn’t stopped me from doing anything else, but for some reason I don’t feel like venturing out solo today.
Not quite sure why that is.
Many interesting diversions today. Many. Good. Diversions.
