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  • “Everything was beautiful, and nothing hurt” – Kurt Vonnegut Jr.

    Posted on by The Thousand Yard Stare Comment

    Owwwwww.

    When you’re younger, you always giggle or roll your eyes when someone older than you has mysterious pains. “You’re getting old!”, you unsympathetically declare. The older person momentarily glares at you and rubs the twinging arm, leg, back, or other assorted pained extremity.

    So here I am. Wondering why I’m waking up at 6:30am on the first true day off that I’ve had in a year.  Popping ibuprofen tabs, hobbling around the kitchen and wondering what I’m going to get done today if I can barely walk. I had to stop unloading the dishwasher halfway through. Maybe later.

    My crime? Sleeping “wrong”. How is it possible to sleep wrong? I assure you it’s not just a matter of semantics. It’s most decidedly “wrong” if you wake up in pain. That’s what happened here. When you’re younger, this happens too but you end up shaking it off the first ten minutes of the day. “Well, golly, that sure was weird!”, you exclaim.

    When you get older, it’s a different thought process.  Middle aged paranoia starts creeping in the longer the pain lasts. Is it internal? Is it a growth or a tumor? How can I prevent this from happening again? The pain will go away, right? Right? Do I need to mention this to my doctor?

    On the up side, at least it gives me a good excuse to fool around with ProTools.  For some reason it worked fine on my ultra-prepared PC the last time and now my entire system is bogging down and crashing.


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  • “The Opera is obviously the first draft of a fine spectacle; it suggests the idea of one.” Jean de la Bruyere

    Posted on by The Thousand Yard Stare Comment

    The other day, I bought a straight razor. I have now found that it’s a low quality piece of junk, and shouldn’t be put anywhere near your face. But regardless, people see me with a blade and assume that I’m going to cut myself. I’m actually not that clumsy.

    The number of times that I’ve hurt myself (slicing, bludgeoning, etc,etc) actually were more of a result of not actually thinking about what I was actually doing than being unsafe. Of course, that’s a little contradictory.

    Here’s the thing. At some point in our lives, we all go in to “autopilot” mode. The multiple times that I’ve sliced my hand/finger open, I wasn’t being unsafe so much as I was on Auto-pilot. After you’ve opened hundreds of boxes (over a lifetime) and you haven’t cut yourself once….you figure you’ve got it under control. You just do it – and don’t think about it.

    Well, as of now, I can’t do that any more. I HAVE to think about what I’m slicing up because typically it ends up being something attached to my body.
    The same thing with my jacked-up ankle. I’ve been walking the planet for some thirty-mumble-mumble years and hadn’t sprained my ankle before……so why did I really need to concentrate on walking? Well, it turns out that I do.

    I especially do.

    Complaining about getting old gets…..well, old, but seriously – those aches and pains that appear and you have to figure out what’s causing them? Time killer for sure. Who would have thunk that my clutch pedal would cause my big toe to get so sore?


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