Well, I made the sprint home since it was still daylight, and the zombies don’t come out until after dark (obviously).
Some random statistics (all approximated as I did not have an official statistician onboard).
Miles driven: 1200 (give or take a few hundred)
Hours in the vehicle: 22
Days out: 2
Average amount of time excessively above the speed limit: 80%
Number of times I wished I would be ticketed for going 20 miles over the speed limit (as to be fired instantly from my job): 5
Number of times I intentionally sped 20 miles over the speed limit: 2
Chance of someone checking the satellite log on the vehicle to scope how fast I was speeding: 0 (give or take 10% – we just upgraded the system)
Chance of me losing my job if someone does check the log: 50%
Number of bugs splattered on the windshield: 45 (give or take)
Number of times I attempted to use the onboard wipers and misting to clear said bugs: 4
Number of times this cleaned anything: 0
Number of law enforcement vehicles seen during entire trip: 15
Number of times I was nearly run off the road: 1
Number of Poppyseed Kolaches consumed: 2 (it would have been four – lesson learned is if there is a bus parked next to the czech stop, don’t bother stopping)
Number of times I thought about sex: Every seven seconds. See?
Number of CD’s I had with me: 8
Number of times I listened to Imelda May: 8
Number of times I listened to Brian Setzer Orchestra: 12
Number of times I listened to American Idiot: 47 (approximate)
Number of times I wished that my Chris Isaak CD case wasn’t empty (where IS that disc?): 7
Number of Home Depot/McDonalds/KFC/Burger King/Lowes/Designer Outlet complexes passed during the trip: Uncountable. More fuel for my theory that I could go to Iowa, and it will look just like Texas.
Number of BBQ joints passed: 13
Number of times I got odd looks because I was singing along with a CD: 4
Number of times that I said “God-Dammit” because someone was going slow in front of me: 17
Number of times I believed in “God”: 0
Number of haircuts: 1
Number of times regretting getting a haircut: 3
Main thing learned from this trip:
DO BILLBOARDS WORK? JUST DID!!!
I think that’s about all I’ve got.
I’m pretty tired now.