There were a few useful things that I learned today. Thanks to the movie Twilight, I’ve learned what I have been doing wrong all these years in order to attract women.
Number 1: Pretend the woman stinks – cover your nose, avoid her, disappear for a few days. This is the “reverse psychology” ploy. Not only will she not take offense, but she will actively pursue you!
“Why doesn’t he like me? He’s so mysterious!”
Number 2: Wear contacts that change your eye color. Women like being confused and nothing confuses them more than your eye color.
“Why doesn’t he like me? Weren’t his eyes blue? He’s so mysterious!”
Number 3: Wear full body glitter in daylight. Sure, you look like you escaped from an all night rave (or strip club), but women love the glitter.
“He’s so sparkly! He’s so mysterious!”
Number 4: I learned that women are very accepting when it comes to love.
“I don’t care that you murdered people and drank their blood, it just makes me love you more. You’re so mysterious!”
Number 5: Corny lines work!
“Wow! I’m, like, his own personal heroin!” and “He called me a spider-monkey! I LOVE him!!”
Number 6: Anything seems much more romantic when Clair De Lune is playing in the background
“Is he about to kiss me? OHMIGOD WE’RE JUMPING OUT THE WINDOW!!!!!!”
Number 7: Appearing in a woman’s room unannounced is SEXY! And not at all STRANGE OR STALKER-ISH!!
“How the hell did you get IN here!!?!? You’re so mysterious!”
I’m not to the end of the movie yet – so I may learn more.
I’ll keep everyone updated.
