• Tag Archives Estate Executor

  • “The only cure for grief is action.” G. H. Lewes

    Posted on by The Thousand Yard Stare Comment

    I’m back from New York (state). Everyone, including me, always assumes New York City, but I was in the northwest part of the state.

    My reflections of the trip, in part, will remain memories and reminiscence with my brother and daughter – whom experienced the trip along with me.

    But, I will say that I feel a lot better having done it.  It wasn’t creepy having the ashes over my TV, it was more of a nagging insistence that there was something I still needed to do.

    With the conversations I had with my brother, and the strange (small) adventures we had, I came to realize that the trip epitomized everything that my father intended for us to do.  Some of it IS the journey – not the destination. Apologies for being so cliche, but there are times when it comes in handy.

    Today I spent most of the day cleaning up and getting organized.  It’s becoming apparent that I need to prep my house for “party mode” again. I stalled out somewhere last year, but it’s time to restart it.

    Also picked up my first Apple product (since our old 80’s Apple Macintoshes – which are only a distant relative to today’s machines).  Managed to mangle up my music organization, which could have been prevented by reading some directions first (D’OH!).

    But, the stereo is now prepped for “Party Mode”, which is a good start for working on the rest of the house.

    Also, got some new booze. Which I have affectionately dubbed, “Glory in a Glass”.

    Good shit.


    📂This entry was posted in Main 📎and tagged

  • “I found my inner bitch and ran with her” Courtney Love

    Posted on by The Thousand Yard Stare Comment

    I’m stalling.

    I’ve packed the ashes in my carry-on luggage.  The bag that I expect to check is empty. I leave for the airport in seven hours.

    As I have maintained, my sleep schedule is beyond unreasonable at this point. I suspect that waking up tomorrow will require two alarm clocks and my cell phone.

    I’ve slowly weaned myself off the medications that have slowed me down as of late, which may be why I’m sitting here playing along to Foxboro Hot Tubs and having chord progressions and lyrics float around inside my thick skull.. (rather than pack, or even pretend to get ready).

    It feels like the journey is nearly over. Even though I can’t bring myself to believe it was a journey in the first place.

    Must be the denial.


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  • “One out of four people in this country is mentally unbalanced. Think of your three closes friends; if they seem OK, then you’re the one.” Ann Landers

    Posted on by The Thousand Yard Stare Comment

    I hope everyone out in internetland had a good 4th!

    My day was primarily spent at my brother’s house with his family and my adorable nephews.  My ankle was really hurting today – in no small part due to a stupid decision to wear my thick soled creepers to Friday night’s burlesque show.  So while I didn’t get to run around with my most mobile nephew, he’s now at that really awesome age where he can express himself really well and we had a lot of great conversations. Since I’m “the uncle that throws him around” I did some kid-tossing and he seemed satisfied.

    Felt like crap most of the day – not sure exactly why.  It may be mostly mental – my brother had a slideshow set up on his TV that cycles through about 12,000 of his photos that he and his wife have taken over the years. Many of them included my father – which of course is a stark reminder that this weekend I’m travelling to spread his ashes. That, coupled with my daughter being out of town with her grandparents on my ex-wife’s side left me in an odd place.

    I’m about to the point where I’m not getting anything done, and frustration sets in if I do anything to force it – so I’m really attempting to just let it all slide.


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  • “Without peace, all other dreams vanish and are reduced to ashes.” Jawaharlal Nehru

    Posted on by The Thousand Yard Stare Comment

    The date is looming.

    Flights and hotel have been booked.

    I await with mild apprehension – stressing to an nth degree about the trip.

    Spreading my father’s ashes in his requested place – the time is coming.

    Practical issues loom – transport of a box of ashes, how much do I pack, etc, etc.

    Other issues like emotion, and closure dance at the periphery. It’s difficult to describe what this means. It happens to us all – we all die.


    📂This entry was posted in Main 📎and tagged

  • “We should consider every day lost on which we have not danced at least once. And we should call every truth false which was not accompanied by at least one laugh.” Friedrich Nietzsche

    Posted on by The Thousand Yard Stare Comment

    I’m fairly sure, at some point last night that these words came out of my mouth:

    “So…. can you shit lottery tickets?”

    It’s been a pretty interesting weekend. Last week was the first week of the new semester – which is shaping up to be pretty cool.

    Unfortunately, I did make it over to UTA on Friday and discovered that I am much, MUCH further behind than I thought I was in terms of the degree I’m after (or was after).

    I’m kind of at a crossroads – so the weekend pretty much mirrored the confusion and chaos that I’m in right now. I’m glad that I used this time to finish up my Associates Degree – but I’m not quite sure where to go from here. Plus, the one year anniversary of my father’s passing is right around the corner – and I finally got around to sending “Thank You” cards to all his friends for the nice cards and letters that I received. It’s nice to get that off my mind – that pile of letters kept nagging at me.

    I got my brake pads replaced, and played pool over at Rusty’s Billiards for about four hours (!) while they worked on my car. Got completely schooled by a guy I met there who had such excellent ball control that it put me to shame. It didn’t help that I’m not regularly playing anymore, playing for long periods of time is completely exhausting now – and I forgot to bring my cue.

    Went out last night and stayed out until 5am – which actually was a lot of fun. I got to meet some new people, try some new things, and managed to go through half a bottle of vodka in the process.

    Needless to say, I took a few naps today.


    📂This entry was posted in School 📎and tagged

  • “At that point, we’d stop recycling.” Heidi Adams

    Posted on by The Thousand Yard Stare Comment

    I’d forgotten what a great exercise having someone over is.

    Really, there’s nothing like saying, “Company is coming” and then realizing that you need to clean up your house.

    Granted, my house is typically not that messy – it’s a matter of organizing the few things that “get away from me” like my computer desk. Recycling the mass amounts of junk mail that I get in my father’s name takes a while too. Of course, I vacuumed the house using the Dyson (hallelujah!) and I wonder how many cats I could build out of the loads and loads of hair I picked up. Is there a way to recycle cat hair? Does it make good wall insulation?

    As always, my brain feels a lot better when my house is organized, so I naturally feel great today. LOL!

    Also, I got a check for $.04 from the brokerage that was giving me a hard time. I’m not going to cash it on principle. Apparently it must be cashed within 180 days. I wonder if they’ll cut another check? Or write it off?

    I have two more finals – well, three really, but I’ve written the song for my intro music reading class – it’s ready to be handed in on Thursday. So, the classes that I have A’s in, I have finals for tomorrow. I suppose I’ll study a little later. Maybe. I made a “B” in my Chemistry class (thank you curve!) and a “B” in my History class.


    📂This entry was posted in School 📎and tagged

  • “If only there were a longer time between epiphany and epitaph” David Glaser

    Posted on by The Thousand Yard Stare Comment

    I’m being a good boy. I’m sticking around the house rather than going out. I need to plow through a few Netflix discs and practice some guitar…..I already finished most of my homework, enough that I’m satisfied.

    I had to update because it’s been a pretty roller-coaster couple of days. While those closest to me have been riding the front and back cars, and I myself have been solidly in the middle, the days have definitely spun me for a loop (or loop-de-loop or loop-loop-de-loop). There have been a few things that have struck me recently (much like an epiphany) but that I have not quite yet acted on yet.

    I’ve heard recently something that resonated with me, it was said, “I’d rather regret the things I did do, rather than the things I didn’t do”. Which of course I think is totally applicable except for that incident of public nudity on a baseball diamond and possibly the charge of illegal animal husbandry. Regardless, life is short. Extremely short when you look at the long term survival rate of any one human being. (At some point, EVERYONE has a zero survival rate)
    A lot of decisions in my life have been so logic based that I ended up not doing whatever it was because the end result wasn’t something I was entirely comfortable with. These days, I’m finding that to be a pretty limiting decision making process. Always the “what ifs?” held me back. What if? What if? What if?

    Henceforth (yes – I said “henceforth”), I’m going to attempt to head into directions that I haven’t been, do some things I haven’t done, try something I haven’t tried, talk like I haven’t talked, act like I haven’t acted. I’ve come a long way, but there’s a long way to go (and a short time to get there, I’m eastbound just to watch ole bandit run)

    In reality based news, the probate hearing was yesterday. Long story short, it’s probably a good thing I didn’t have some oddly colored hair – because it could have been disastrous. It’s good to act like a completely sane responsible human – some of the time. Ha! Tequila (again) is not my friend – but I’ll know better next time. I still managed to get up, go to school – unfortunately dehydration meant my calves were cramping up so I couldn’t do much. My hair has freedom now – I’m not sure where I should go with it. Most sane people say, “Do what YOU want to with it”. I was going to waffle on it, but I know what I’m going to do now.

    Life is short – remember?


    📂This entry was posted in Guitar School 📎and tagged

  • “How many people make themselves abstract to appear profound. The most useful part of abstract terms are the shadows they create to hide a vacuum.” Joseph Joubert

    Posted on by The Thousand Yard Stare Comment

    I wish I had something interesting to report.

    Things are kind of slow when my daughter isn’t around, and my green hair only entertains me so much. I hear from my lawyer that I will need to go back to blonde before the probate hearing. Yay me. Then it’s back to green.

    Being unemployed is a little surreal. It will be good to go back to school, giving me a daily goal (wake up, go to school, repeat).

    I’m using a book that teaches fretboard logic – and it’s working very well for me. I’m really happy with it.

    Picked up a ton of $2 bills at the bank today. I wiped them out. Why? Why not? It’s legal US currency – it’s time to reintroduce it into circulation. C’mon people! Do your part!

    Going to have a parent/teacher conference tamale. Little one made “student of the hour” last week – of which I am extremely proud. The things you do for your kids…..

    She’s enjoying the whole process which is awesome. This is exactly what she needed. I can enthusiastically endorse Sylvan Learning Center.

    Am considering doing the P90X program – my insurance agent/guitar teacher does it and he loves it.

    I’m trying to use every Category that I have…..here we go – I’m close.

    Installed a new toilet the other day – life is so much better with a new toilet. Don’t underestimate the power of a new toilet.

    Speaking of humor….just kidding. I honestly have had more conversations with this hair than I can count. People say the oddest things. Which is great, because it’s sharpening my response skills.

    “Which came first, the chicken? Or the egg?”


    📂This entry was posted in Guitar School 📎and tagged

  • “Babies don’t need a vacation but I still see them at the beach. I’ll go over to them and say, ‘What are you doing here, you’ve never worked a day in your life!’.” Stephen Wright

    Posted on by The Thousand Yard Stare Comment

    I’ve been a pretty busy dude.

    Obviously.

    Friday was my last day at work (have already covered that).

    Didn’t really feel like doing anything, but drove out to Houston on Saturday. Monica and I stopped at Mai’s for food – and picked up some for Tam and Chelsea. My daughter ate steak at the Hilton – where I managed to get them a room for the night after the Green Day concert. I think I tried to eat fish the entire weekend. Went to the show –

    which was obviously cool. They blew ticker tape all over the place – it had skulls on it. I think I just washed the few pieces I had. Or I dropped them – I don’t remember. my kid got some, which is really what matters. I got Terry a Green Day sticker (per request) and got a shirt for the kiddo. She loved it.

    Drove to Galveston on Sunday – had a lot of fun. We went to Seawolf Park which was pretty much decimated by the last hurricane. It was all dirt. I got pretty pink in the 20 or 30 minutes we were out uncovered. Got some great pictures in the submarine – but didn’t get to go into the conning tower. Used to be able to look through the periscope when I was a kid. 🙁

    Walked on the beach (2 miles) at night which was really, really cool. Got a lot of exercise walking, but picked up about four pounds over the weekend. 🙁 Since it’s mostly beer, I suspect I’ll lose it by the end of next week. Time to start drinking a lot of water – and quit eating food after seven pm!

    Great news! On the way back from H-town, I decided to tempt fate and contact my GI guy (not the GI Joe guy, the General Internist or whatever he is) and they said that I had “allergic espohatitis“. That’s good – it’s not cancerous. I now have an inhaler that I have to use for the next 6 or 8 weeks – and then we’ll go from there. I will surely laugh at the prospect that it may be coffee that I’m allergic to.

    Got back and then I REALLY got busy. I shipped the IC300 out to be painted, and got some hair bleach at Hot Topic, went to Sally’s Beauty Supply and picked up some Green Manic Panic. Stage One:

    Being unemployed is so freaking cool. (Until the bills roll in……)

    I also picked up some music books and a music stand – getting ready for LESSON # 1!

    LOL.


    📂This entry was posted in Guitar 📎and tagged